Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu. Dear shaykh, I wrote a book against Islam which more than 50 people have read. Today, I regret it. My teeth have moved. I have lost my laughter and ability to cry, and I have also lost my singing voice as well as my ability to sleep. My breathing through my nose has become difficult as well as my ability to understand and read. I believe that all this is a punishment from Allah. Will Allah ever forgive me? What should I do in order to set things straight? I have deleted the book, but I still do not feel peace. I have also lost my ability to sense feelings, I cannot feel happiness, sadness, or any other feelings. I have also lost all my creativity. Please advise me on what to do. May Allah reward you. Wassalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu.

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

If you sincerely repent to Allah, the Exalted, He will forgive you. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means):

- {Say to those who have disbelieved (that) if they cease, what has previously occurred will be forgiven for them.} [Quran 8:38]

- {Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves (by sinning), do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He Who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."} [Quran 39:53]

- {But indeed, I am the Perpetual Forgiver of whoever repents and believes and does righteousness and then continues in guidance.} [Quran 20:82]

As long as you regret what you had done, then you have already fulfilled the first and most important condition for sincere repentance, which is regret. The Prophet, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “Regret is repentance.” [Ahmad and Ibn Maajah] We have previously underlined the conditions of sincere repentance in general in fatwa 86527.

We also advise you to hasten to communicate with the readers who have read your book, if possible, and clarify the falsehood of the information therein as well as the fact that you were wrong to them. You should keenly seek to learn your religion and strive to defend it and be among the supporters of Allah. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, be supporters of Allah, as when Jesus, the son of Mary, said to the disciples, "Who are my supporters for Allah?" The disciples said: We are supporters of Allah...} [Quran 61:14]

Supporting Allah, the Exalted, is accomplished by supporting His religion, inviting people to it, and defending His Shariah. You can devote your pen to the service of this cause and, as a reward, you shall be blessed with genuine happiness in this worldly life and the Hereafter and will no longer lead a distressed life, which is the natural result of being away from Allah. As you draw closer to Him and follow His guidance, He shall compensate you with happiness and serenity and protect you from aberrance and misery. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {And if there should come to you guidance from Me - then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray (in the world) nor suffer (in the Hereafter). And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.} [Quran 20:123-124]

We ask Allah to bless your heart with comfort and serenity, forgive your sins, and confer perfect guidance upon you.

Allah knows best.