Assalaamu alaykum. I am writing to ask for a clarification about divorce. My husband and I were happily married, but he was quick to turn to anger in fights. One month into our marriage, during an argument, he said “I divorce you” in anger and without intent. He even forgot that he had said it almost right after. He did not verbally take me back, but we lived together for a few months. Five months later, in another argument, he texted me to say, “My decision to divorce you is final;” and the next day, he said, “I divorce you,” three times. My question is: are we divorced once or irreversibly? If he never verbally took me back after the first and did not even realize that he had divorced me so that he would have to take me back, is it just the first divorce that counts? In that case, we lived together without knowing the divorce had been enacted. Also, what is the allowance to look for an interpretation from a School of Thought that only one of us follows for the sake of saving this relationship? We are looking to reconcile, Allah willing, and are hopeful for a way in which this is Islamically possible. May Allah reward you, and thank you for your help.

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Your husband's words, “I divorce you,” in the present tense do not make divorce effective unless he intended to issue a divorce with them. The same applies to his statement, “My decision to divorce you is final.” Please refer to fatwa 198269.

We cannot decisively declare whether your marriage bond is still intact or not. We believe that it is better that your husband consults a scholar orally or refers the case to the Islamic center where you live so that he would be able to clarify the truth about the words which he uttered and his intention behind them. This is better and more efficient in your case.

Anger does not prevent a divorce from taking place if the husband is conscious of what he is saying, as we have previously underlined in fatwas121374. In any case, anger should be avoided as much as possible, and the words of divorce should not be used as a means to solve marriage problems.

It should be noted that taking back the wife in a revocable divorce takes place through actions just as it takes place through words, although there is a difference of opinion among scholars regarding taking back the wife through actions (like being intimate with her), as we have previously highlighted in fatwa 89845.

Allah know best.