Assalaamu Alaikum, I am married for 21 years n have 4 children. I would like to enquire, I have a very bad anger issue n wen I get angry I scream n shout n fight. It's like I become a totally different person altogether. I push my husband to eventually lifting his hands on me. As a result of having a very bad n ugly fight he sent me to my sister's house. A month later due to financial strains we lost our car as the bank repossessed it. He was so angry still about our fight and separation dat he ended up assuming that I was to blame for the losing the car n da day that the car was picked out of extreme anger he was not thinking straight issued me with talaaq via sms, which he copied on paper the same time but drove to drop it off at my sister's house. He said he was in a state of rage and really did not intend on issuing it. We want to reconcile. We have enquired about this n many says dat a sms n written talaaq is not valid without it being verbal. And some say it is valid n we cannot reconcile. I want to know because he was extremely angry with me from my total ugliness n losing our car is this a valid talaaq OR not. N is der anyway dat we can reconcile. Jazakallah Ghair. Wa Alaikumus Salaam.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The scholars differed in opinion regarding the ruling on writing the words of divorce in mobile phone messages, or on a paper, and so on, without uttering it, whether it is like an explicit word of divorce and does not require intention, or that it is a metaphor that needs intention?

The view that we consider to be the preponderant one in many Fatawa is that its ruling is the same as that of a metaphor. If the husband did not intend divorce, then divorce is not effective.

Therefore, if your husband did not intend divorce by what he had written, then his divorce did not take place.

According to the view that divorce took place, and it was not the third divorce, then your husband may take you back during your waiting period (from divorce) without the need for a new contract. It is sufficient for him to say to you: I take you back, and this is valid, and the bond of marriage continues between you and him.

We advice you to strive your best to improve your conduct and have good marital relations with your husband. We also advice your husband to avoid surrendering himself to anger, as it is the key to evil.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man said the Prophet : “Please, advise me!” The Prophet, said: ''Do not become angry.” The man asked the same question again many times and the Prophet replied in the same manner: “Do not become angry.” [Al-Bukhari]

Ibn Rajab said:

“This is evidence that anger includes all evil, and that avoiding it (or protecting oneself from it) involves all goodness.” [End of quote]

For more benefit on how to treat anger, please refer to Fatwa 86681.

Also, refer to Fatawa 243088, 245707 233290, and 220696 for cases of divorce issued in anger.

Allah knows best.