I proposed to a twenty-five-year old girl and she accepted my proposal, but her mother refused because I am married. Although the girl’s father approves of our marriage, he cannot face his wife. Is it permissible for that girl to resort to the judge to marry her off to me?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is impermissible for the judge to marry a woman off without her father’s consent, for the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "When a woman marries without the permission of her Wali (legal guardian), then her marriage is not valid, not valid, not valid." [Ahmad, At-Tirmthi and Ibn Maajah]

Furthermore, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "There is no marriage but with a Wali, and the ruler is the Wali for the one who does not have a Wali." [Ahmad and Al-Bayhaqi]

 The words of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that: ‘the ruler is the Wali for the one who does not have a Wali’, proves that the ruler, and in your case the judge, cannot be the bride’s Wali unless she has no other Wali i.e. legal guardian. However, if the woman has a Wali, i.e., the father in your case, then the judge cannot be her Wali unless her Wali unlawfully prevents her from marrying a suitable husband as was clarified in books of Islamic jurisprudence. Hence, it is impermissible for the judge to be the bride’s Wali without her father’s consent, yet if the father approves, it is permissible for the judge to be the bride’s Wali, as was clarified in the previously mentioned narration that reads: "When a woman marries without the permission of her Wali i.e. legal guardian, then her marriage is not valid." This indicates that if she marries with his permission, then her marriage is valid.

Allaah Know best.