Salam O Aliekum,My husband has already divorced me twice, we had some problems at the start of our marriage. Recently, we have not been in a good state, not praying ect. One night, we had an intense argument, I kept pestering him to the point of throwing insults and I then spat at his face. At this moment he was intensely angry and utter ‘ya talaq’. He knew what he was saying but did not intent to divorce me. He were both very upset after and he regretted what he had said. He said he was so angry that If had just been told his parents passed, he would have responded with ‘ok’. He also uttered the word after we had intercourse. I have been praying istikhara ever since, we are both now praying 5 times a day and have booked to perform umrah. Please clarify if we are still married. We love each other very much and do not want to be separated.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and all his companions.

If your husband uttered his words as: “Ya Talaq” without intending this expression, but his tongue preceded him, then this is considered nonsense that does not result in divorce, but if he intended that expression but did not intend the divorce, then we haven't read or heard from the scholars regarding the ruling on this expression, but what they stipulated is something close to that, such as the husband’s saying: “Ante Talaq” or “Ante At-Talaq,” which is explicit divorce according to the majority of scholars, so divorce takes place without intention. While some scholars see that it is a metaphorical expression and is not explicit. Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah haave his mercy upon him, said in (Rawdat At-Talibeen): And in his saying: “Ante Talaq” or “At-Talaq” or "Talqah", there are two views regarding this: the most accurate of them is that it is a metaphorical expression. [End of quote]

What appears to us to be the predominant opinion - and Allah knows best - is the opinion of As-Shafi'is that says it is a metaphor. Accordingly, divorce didn't take effect so long that your husband didn't have the intention to issue a divorce with this expression.

You are obliged to treat your husband kindly and repent to Allah for the insults and spitting on your husband’s face because it is an abominable act.

Allah knows best.