I have a brother-in-law who plays the violin in Arab musical concerts. Is it forbidden for me to eat from a banquet that is made from his money? My refusal to eat from his banquet will create some problems, such as severing kinship ties between the two sisters, his wife and my wife. Is it also forbidden to accept his gift?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

It is permissible to answer the invitation of your relative, eat from his banquet, and accept his gift. This is even required because of the general indication of a Hadeeth (narration) where the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was reported to have said: “If I were invited to a meal of a sheep’s foot I would accept, and if I were given a sheep’s foot as a gift, I would accept.” [Al-Bukhari] Also, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was reported to have said: “If anyone of you invites his brother to a marriage or whatsoever, let him answer the invitation.” [Muslim] It was also narrated that a Jew invited the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to a banquet of barley bread and rancid fat, and the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, answered the invitation. No wrongdoing must exist to make such attendance permissible, or if there is an evil act, the invited person can refute and change it, because by doing this he will combine two duties: answering the invitation and forbidding evil.

Therefore, he should advise the person who invited him, by forbidding the evil that he commits or by making him realize that he dislikes what he does. In addition, scholars mention that one should consider the benefit resulting from deserting dissolute people. If this will make such people regret their misdeeds, when deserted, then it is permissible to desert and cut relations with them. A proof of this is the incident of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, who commanded the Muslims to forsake the three men who did not join the military expedition of Tabook and forbade the Muslims from intermixing with them. The three deserted Muslims reaped great benefit from that. They returned to Allaah The Almighty in repentance, having the earth closed in on them in spite of its vastness, and repented to Allaah The Almighty who accepted their repentance. However, if desertion brings no benefit and leads to nothing but severance of relations and it is observed for disobedience, not for the sake of disbelief, then it is not permissible. This is because the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was reported to have said: “It is not lawful for a believer to desert his brother for more than three nights.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] 

Allaah Knows best.