Married to older woman and wants clarification to marry again Fatwa No: 81606
- Fatwa Date:8-2-2001
I married two and half year ago to a woman who was twice my age due to emotions. I must live with her, but I want to marry someone my age. What is best way out of this situation, her conduct is very good with me, so kindly guide me and give me a solution. Incase of a second marriage I do not think that I could give her full rights. In view of this can I divorce her? And what about “Mahr” which she forgiven me verbally, can she claim her right or she does not has right?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed the relationship between spouses is one of the most important and most powerful relationships and Allah named it a strong covenant. Allah Says (what means): {And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?} [Quran 4: 21] In addition to this, the stability and continuity of marital life is one of the objectives that Islam tries to achieve and warns against anything that may undermine it or decrease its importance.
It is for this reason that the least than can be said about divorcing without any actual harm from the continuity of marital life is disliked. Therefore, we advise you not to divorce this woman whose conduct you praise, just because of an emotional matter that does not lead to any benefit for you or for her.
However, if one of you is harmed of the marital life between you, or that you cannot continue as you mentioned, then, in this case, you can divorce her as Allah does not burden a person more than he can bear. It is confirmed that the Prophet said: “There should be no harm nor reciprocal harm.” [Ahmad, and Al-Albani]
As regards the dowry which she renounced to you, then it is one of the two following cases:
A- She voluntarily gave you the dowry with full consent without willing any compensation; in this case you are not blamed for not paying it to her as Allah Says (what means): {And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.} [Quran 4:4]
B- If she renounced the dowry for you on the condition of her staying with you within the bond of marriage, then if you divorce her, you are obliged to give it back to her as the Prophet said: “The Muslims should fulfill their conditions”. [Abu Daawood and As-Sayooti]
Allah knows best.