I'm living in America. A brother here is getting married. I advised him that the Waleema (wedding banquet) should be held within three days after the marriage ceremony. I heard also that the Waleema should only be done after having sex with the bride. Since some husbands delay having sex with their new wives, what is the correct opinion? Please answer with proofs.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Scholars of Islam are not agreed on the time of Marriage Waleemah (wedding banquet). Some are of the view that it should be made at the time of the marriage contract itself while others are of the opinion that it should be done after it. Others are of the view that it should be made at the time of carrying the bride home or right after it.

Ibn Hajar reported from As-Subki that he said: “What is narrated from the Prophet is that he did his Waleemah after the bride was brought to him and he stayed alone with her.”
Ibn Hajar added that there is a clear and sound evidence for this from the Hadeeth of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, who said: “He (the Prophet) invited the people on the morning of the first day after Zaynab was brought to him and stayed alone with him.”

The Maaliki School of jurisprudence preferred that the Waleemah be done at the time of bringing the bride to her groom and that her staying alone with him should be after that. This is what is common now among most Muslims. [Excerpted from Fath Al-Baari]

But what is important is to organize the Waleemah as it is a sign of marriage and this could be done at any of the above times. The Prophet ordered ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf saying “Give a wedding banquet even with one sheep.” [Al-Bukhaari]

Making Waleemah within 3 days from marriage is not a condition as it could be done at the time of consummating the marriage (groom staying alone with bride) or a little bit after it.

Allah knows best.