Please help me how to make Istikarah! I am having a very serious problem with my husband he does not tolerate my father. My husband is my father sister son (my cousin). They have some property dispute. They are like enemies and my life at home is becoming miserable. I pray five times daily I recite Qur'an Surah Ya-Sin (36), Ar-Rahman (55), Al-Waqi`ah (56) and Allah's 99 names every day Allah is All-Knower that I become very upset. My relations with my brother and sisters are cut down due to my husband. I love my husband very much. Who is right and who is wrong Allah knows. But now things are totally untolerable. I want to make Istikarah for mental peace. Please help me! Allah Hafiz (May Allah bless you for this kind work).

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

We advise you to fear Allah as He should be feared and to be patient. No doubt that fearing Allah and being patient are the best ways to solve any dilemma. Through the fear of Allah and patience one may be rid of all his griefs. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {….And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. ….}[65:2-3] He also Says (interpretation of meaning): {….and whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make his matter easy for him.}[65:4]

Imam Ahmad narrates from Ibn Abbas that the Prophet said: “Indeed the victory is in patience, the relief is (that which comes) after a distress and easiness (is that which) follows a hardship”. [al-Musnad]

You should turn towards Allah supplicating Him, asking Him to reconcile your relations with all your relatives and make you all love each other. Indeed the hearts are in the Hands of Allah, He turns them as He likes, The Almighty is Most Generous He does not reject the one who asks Him and supplicates Him. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad SAW) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.}[2:186] Allah also Says (interpretation of meaning): {And your Lord said: "Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islâmic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation). ……..}[40:60]

Try your best to reconcile the relations between your husband and your father. Remind them of the sayings of the Prophet, which urge Muslims to maintain good relations and forbid severing kinship. Let them know that the material stuff of this world is so insignificant to be a reason for cutting off kinship relations.

Make your husband aware of the many rights your father has upon him; the right of being his uncle, his father-in-law and above all he deserves the rights of a Muslim. In addition, you may ask a wise and religious person from your family to help you in settling this dilemma in order to have a good matrimonial life.
As for how to make Istikharah, please refer to the Fatwa:
81434.
Allah knows best.