Wife Wants Divorce and Custody of Her Daughter Fatwa No: 84302
- Fatwa Date:11-6-2002
I have been married for 6 1/2 years and have a daughter who is 5 and 1/2. Our problems started just before the birth of our girl but the subject of divorce came up 5 years ago. I am the one who is asking for it. My parents live in Qatar and I have some family here where I am married (out of Qatar). I am not allowed to see them or speak to them at all...it has been more than a year. He is very authoritative and what he says must happen. Until now the only way I can leave him is by leaving my daughter behind. To get a divorce from him he wants me to sign a paper giving him my daughter and never seeing her again. In the present situation, I have difficulties pleasing him, being a good mother and do not give any time for myself or my health. We have different views about everything including raising a child. To add to all of this, I have nothing left to offer him, no feelings, no kindness or good heart. I am just a physical being with no soul except in my prayers. He on the other hand loves me so much and wants to make things work whether I like it or not. My father has spoken to him many times but with no use. How can I get a divorce? Is their any form of divorce counseling online, as I am not able to see a lawyer? I am scared of losing my daughter if matters should go to court.
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
We advise our sister not to be hasty in seeking divorce. Why not try to talk to some of the relatives of your husband, or friends who have influence upon him, or even a knowledgeable man such as an Imam of a mosque who may remind him of Allah, and that keeping good ties and being kind to parents is an obligation.
He is more obliged to urge his wife to keep ties of kinship with her parents and relatives instead of forcing her to cut ties with them. The husband should also be reminded that one should be kind-hearted to his wife, and the best of the Muslims is the one who is good to his wife.
A husband should never neglect the feelings of his wife. The basis of a happy married life is to face and solve matters by consulting each other and taking into consideration each other's opinion. Sometimes a woman's advice contributes much to having a successful life.
For more benefit on the custody of children and right of visiting them, please refer to Fataawa 326341, 86891, 87762, 88331, 89832, 182019, 213352, 82128, 341287, 84575, and 86053.
Allah knows best.