Father Rejected Honorable Marriage Proposal
Fatwa No: 84320

Question

Please, I am very lost, help me. Someone came to ask for my hand two times (I know him for five years) and each time my father refused him because his family is not modern. I tell you that this man loves me but respectfully and he is very kind, does his prayer and has a good job and his own home so what shall I do if I love him and my father rejected him two times because of the social differences?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Know that the presence of the guardian is a condition for the validity of the marriage contract. The Prophet said: “There is no valid marriage contract without the consent of the guardian.” [Ahmad, Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi]

The above Hadeeth states that a woman has no right to take the role of a guardian concerning marrying herself off or marrying off others.

However, this does not mean that a woman cannot choose her husband; she has the say in this concern. But, making the presence of a guardian as a condition to a valid marriage is based on the fact that such an action; i.e. marriage, constitutes a serious matter, that needs complete and comprehensive knowledge concerning the advantages and disadvantages of marriage as well as research, discussion and consultation; and a woman could be influenced by emotion. Thus, the guardian becomes needed so that he can save her interest and can make sure of every step taken in this direction; i.e. marriage.

However, commissioning the guardian with authority to conduct the marriage contract does not entitle him by any means to prevent a woman (daughter, sister, …) from marrying. If such prevention is proved by refusing qualified suitors, she has the right to take legal action against her guardian. Then, if such a state is also proved by Islamic courts, the judge has the authority to order her guardian to marry her off; otherwise, the judge assumes such a task.

If the man you have mentioned is religious and a man of morals, then you have to do your best to convince your father directly or through someone else, whom you think that your father will listen to (him/her), like your mother, uncle and so on.
Anyway, we advise you to perform the Istikhaarah prayer in this concern and to pray to Allah to grant you what is good in this worldly life and in the Hereafter and to guard you against evil.

Allah knows best.

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