I became Muslim about five years ago now, from the outset I have been having problems establishing my prayer. I know how to perform them and understand the concept of having Khushoo and even sometimes I felt as though the whole world and everything in it meant nothing during my prayer. Yet still even after that I become so lazy in performing them that I stop. I understand that between a Muslim and a Kafir is the prayer. Each time I stop I get more disgusted with myself which makes it harder every time to go back. I love Allah and His messenger and the companions and I fear what will happen to me with Allah. What should I do to put an end to this? Am I still considered a Muslim? Do I have to take my Shahadah again? I stay at home with my children all the time and I have a husband. I have lots of books and tapes on prayer, Tawhid and Aqeedah and my husband is very good to me, all though he does not know I don't pray sometimes. I feel so bad, what should do? Please help I am trying not to despair of the Mercy of Allah, as I know this is a great sin.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

So long as you know that the Prayer is an important pillar of Islam and that abandoning it is Kufr (disbelief), then you should put forward to yourself the following question:

Who is stopping and obstructing me from performing my Prayer? You will find the answer immediately without delay or doubt, that it is Satan (the devil), since he is the enemy of the believers, as Allah Says (what means): {Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.} [Quran 35: 6]
Satan has many tricks and methods in approaching the son of Adam and leading him astray; Allah Says (what means): {[Satan] said, "Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You]."} [Quran 7: 16-17]

If this is the case, then how can it come across a sane person's mind, let alone a believer, to chase the trails of the footsteps of his enemy who wants to deceive him and entrap him into Hellfire?

Therefore, the means you should take to save yourself from his traps and deception is to seek refuge in Allah from Satan, and then to seek Allah's Help against him, as Allah Says (what means): {So when you recite the Qur'an, [first] seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the expelled [from His mercy]. Indeed, there is for him no authority over those who have believed and rely upon their Lord. His authority is only over those who take him as an ally and those who through him associate others with Allah.} [Quran 16: 98-100]

We advise you to frequently observe the remembrance of Allah, to say the morning and evening supplications, as well as the supplications that are to be said before going to sleep and when wakening up in the morning.

Furthermore, we also advise you to listen to audio tapes and attend talks where one is encouraged and inspired to keep steadfast in performing his Prayer punctually, as well as taking righteous sisters as your company since they could be great help to you in boosting your Iman and motivating you.

Finally, we recommend that you inform your husband about this since he may give you a helping hand and some solutions.

For more benefit on the ruling on abandoning the prayer or delaying it, please refer to Fataawa 384457, 377344, 88016, 84178, 83565, 87587, 90926, 88690 and 84403.

Allah knows best.