I have a sister who few years back ran away. We sent her to India as we were worried about her relation to a Pakistani boy here whom she claimed that she was in love with. We knew of their love affair and as we thought it was better to keep her away we sent her to India. During her this stay in India she eloped and married my cousin who then was already married and was having a kid. She did this without our knowing and our parents' permission. Later we found out that she was also married to this Pakistani boy. To confirm this I also took out the copy of the marriage certificate i.e. her first marriage, which was duly registered. It seems they got married in India and kept it secret to pressurize us when the time is right. My parents were against this initially but later they accepted her. But ever since that time I avoided her and never agreed to their marriage. The Pakistani boy after few months gave a Verbal Talaaq, as this was said by my dad. I don't know if there was a witness to it. My sister 3 years after marriage when she was pregnant with her second kid did Khula and sat for Iddah period, which I am not sure if she completed. My questions are: 1) Am I right in avoiding her and not meeting her because of her un-Islamic behaviour? As I do know the punishment of breaking relations is severe. 2) Is her marriage considered Halaal? 3) Is the Talaaq of her Pakistani husband valid? 4) Can she be in Iddah period when she is pregnant from her second husband? 5) She has now 3 kids, what can be done to help them, especially she feels that she has done right and no regret for it.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

If this girl is as you mentioned that she established an affectionate relationship with a marriageable man and then she married him without the consent of her guardian and without any religious reason, then she was very wrong, and she is obliged to repent to Allaah.

As regards your questions, we will answer them in the following points:

·        The consent of the guardian is one condition of the conditions of marriage according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars. So marriage without the consent of the guardian is void, however, if the judge rules that this marriage is correct taking into consideration the view of the scholars who are of the opinion that marriage without the consent of the guardian is correct, then this marriage should not be invalidated.

·        The presence of witnesses when divorcing is desirable and not an obligation according to the opinion of the majority of the scholars. So if a man divorces his wife, then divorce takes place even if there were no witnesses.

·        A woman whose marriage was consummated is obliged to observe a waiting period whether the marriage was correct or void, if there was any reason of observing a waiting period.  

·        It is not permissible to marry a woman during her waiting period as the scholars agreed in a consensus that this marriage is void, and if marriage takes place during the waiting period, it is an obligation to invalidate it.

·        Any marriage where the husband believes that it is valid, if he had any children from this marriage, the children should be traced back to their father and he is obliged to spend on them. In case the father is not able to spend on them because he is poor, then their mother is obliged to spend on them. If the relatives help them in this regard, this is good and this is keeping good ties with kinship, so this matter should be encouraged. What their mother did should not be a reason for depriving the children from such help, as this could have a good impact on their mother and it may lead her to regain her sound reasoning.

·        It is permissible to cut relations with disobedient people, but one should balance between the benefit of cutting relations with them and the benefit of keeping ties with them. If cutting relations is beneficial, then one should cut relations with them, but if one is pretty sure that this will make them more disobedient and dissolute, then it is better not to.

Finally, it should be noted that the parents should be strict with their children especially their daughters, while being wise and choosing the best means of achieving the benefit.

Allaah Knows best.