I live in pakistan. I married last year (09-11-2005). Everything was normal upto 20th of April-2006. I was at factory where i am doing job. I called my wife at 7.45 pm, we talked more than 5 minutes. everything was normal. After 40 minutes i received her call and she informed me that her father came from other city and she is going to her sister house. I said okay. Her father talked to me and asked me to come my sister-in-law house. At that time i was on my way to my house. I turned towards my sister-in-law house. I reached there first and after 5 minutes my wife reached with her father. Her father accused me lot and told me that my wife is going with her father to other city where they live. I simply refused their accusation because they were all base less. I asked my wife 3 times infront of her father and her sister to go with me for home. But she didn't answer. Next day they flew to their native city. Fiest they ask for Sepration. Her parents abused me and my parents. My wife and her parents accused me and humillated my parents. We tried 3 time to solve the matter. But her parents refused to send her. They said 95% this relation has finished. The MEHAR is 1 lakh rupees. Out which 83 thousands have been paid through Jewelry from my side. She took all jewelry of both sides and her all clothes from her side.My wife is pregnent and delivery is to be expacted in mid of August 2006. From last 2 months they are quiet. If They ask for Khula, what will be the status of MEHAR which i already paid? What about the baby?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

We advise the questioner to first attempt to tackle this problem with wisdom. This can be done by allowing a third party (close relatives or acquaintances) from the people of knowledge, venture and reason, and who have influence on disputing parties, to mediate between him and the family of his wife. The mediation should aim to let the family of the wife know that ruining the relationship between their daughter and her husband is one of the major sins, and is part of the handicraft of the devils. The Prophet said: “Indeed, Iblees (Satan) places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments [for creating dissension]; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did such and such. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between him and his wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘you have done well.’” [Muslim]

In addition, the Prophet said: “The one who ruins the relationship of a woman with her husband is not one of us.” [Abu Daawood]

However, if the questioner wronged his wife or her family, he should rectify what he did in order to facilitate reconciliation. If, thereafter, the family of your wife persist on what they have been doing, then you need to know that they do not have the right to force you to divorce or have Khulu’ [a divorce sought by the wife through the Muslim judge]. In addition, you may raise the issue to the Islamic court.

If, however, you did not find a solution that is binding on them, other than accepting Khulu’, we believe that you should accept the Khulu’. The Prophet said: “Those women who seek khulu’ [without valid grounds] are the hypocrites.” [At-Tirmithi and An-Nasaa’ee] Furthermore, you may stipulate [in the Khulu’] that she should return what you paid of dowry back to you in full, and waive the rest of it. Please refer to Fatwa 89039 about Khulu’ and its most important rulings.

Concerning the custody of a child when his parents separate, the mother has the right for custody even if transgressed in seeking the Khulu’, as this is the apparent position of the scholars, except in the case where the mother is a Faasiqah (rebellious against the rules of Allaah), as rebellion is one of the preventive reason for having custody.

However, if a dispute arises about the qualification of the mother for having custody, in this case the matter should be decided by a Muslim judge as Imaam An-Nawawi stated.

Please refer to Fatwa 90467 concerning who has the right for a child’s custody, and to whom it may be transferred.

Furthermore, the jurists stated that the husband has the right to stipulate the right for the child’s custody in the Khulu’. Ad-Dardeer said, “The khulu’ in which a wife waives her right for custody to her husband is permissible. The right of custody will be transferred to him even if, without this waiver, there is someone else, besides him, who has more right over it.”

Therefore, it is permissible for the questioner to stipulate the right for the child’s custody in exchange for Khulu’.