A son as a marriage guardian in marrying off his mother Fatwa No: 92746
- Fatwa Date:19-2-2007
Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaah, My son is a teen but he is of age to be my wali. Can you tell us the best way to open a meeting with a suitor and the correct way to write a marriage contract. If possible can you please show an example of a marriage contract. May Allah reward you with good in this life and the next.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
According to the Hanafi, Maaliki and Hanbali Schools, it is acceptable and valid for a son to be a guardian in marrying off his mother. However, it is a condition that the guardian should be a pubescent person who has a sound reasoning and it is not acceptable and valid for a teenager who has not yet reached the age of puberty to marry off his mother. For more benefit on the signs of puberty, please refer to Fataawa 87018 and 83431.
Therefore, if your son is not pubescent, it is not acceptable or permissible for him to conduct your marriage contract. However, if he is pubescent and fulfils the other conditions which are: having a sound reasoning, being free [not a slave], being of the same religion [Muslim], and being rational, then it is acceptable for him to conduct your marriage contract in marrying you off if he is the closest guardian to you, or that the guardian who is closest to you gives him permission to do so. For more benefit on who has the priority in marrying off a woman, please refer to Fatwa 83338.
If the guardianship of the nearest person to the woman is nullified, then the person who comes next to him in priority should marry her off, and if the guardianship of all of them is nullified, then the Muslim ruler should marry her off; this is the opinion of the Hanbali School of jurisprudence.
Therefore, the person who wants to propose to marry you, may visit the person who should marry you off and discuss the matter with him.
It is desirable for the groom or one among the audience to say Khutbatul-Haajah (i.e. the opening speech - which is the one with which the Imaam usually starts the Friday speech); its wording reads as follows: "All perfect praise be to Allaah, we praise Him, we seek His Help and His Forgiveness, and we seek refuge in Him from the evil of our own selves and from our sinful deeds, and I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, He is the One and He has no partners or associates, and I testify that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. {O you who believe! Fear Allaah (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. (Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always), and die not except in a state of Islam (as Muslims) with complete submission to Allaah.}[Quran 3:102], {O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Aadam), and from him (Aadam) He created his wife (Hawwaa' (Eve)), and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allaah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.}[Quran 4:1], {O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e. he will be saved from the Hell-fire and made to enter Paradise).}[Quran 33:70-71], to proceed: the best speech is the Word of Allaah, and the best guidance is that of Muhammad and the worst matters are the newly invented ones (in religion), and every newly invented matter is an innovation, and every innovation is a misguidance." [Muslim] For more benefit on the etiquettes of engagement, please refer to Fatwa 88135.
It is also permissible, in addition to the above, to recite some other Quranic verses and Prophetic narrations along with an admonition. After this, the guardian of the woman would say to the groom: "I marry my daughter or mother off to you – while mentioning her name- according to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Prophet with the dowry of –mentioning the amount of the dowry- which is agreed upon (between us). He should mention whether the dowry is immediate or delayed, and the amount of the delayed dowry, if any. Then, the groom [the person who wants to marry] should answer: "I accept marrying so and so –mentioning the name of the bridegroom- according to the dowry which is mentioned."
The above is a suggested wording for the marriage contract, but this wording is not an obligation, and it is not an obligation to mention the amount of dowry while conducting the contract, but if it is mentioned then it is better in order to avoid any disagreements in the future.
Allaah Knows best.