Assalamu Alaikom, I would like to get some advice to my problem from you,The problem is with my husband, he is 8 yrs older than me im arab & he is asian, anyway I sometimes notice my husband looking at young girls in an unacceptable way as if he was looking at an older woman.I definitely know he is not attracted to me in many ways such as, my body weight (i was overweight before he married me) he likes the diffrnt hair type & color of what I have.At times I do catch him looking at other woman as well(sneaky way),This hurts me a lot but I keep it to myself.But when I see him looking at little girls that bothers me a lot, I mean he is not looking at any girl he specifically looks at young woman that are slim & pretty, not others that can be less attractive.I feel as if he is eating them with his eyes. lah hwla wala kuwata ila bilah, I'm Definetly sure about this, Allah is the witness, also I've had others (trustworthy people) tell me this too.I don't know what to do or think.We did had many problems in the past (husband and I), one of these problems was since after we were married I found out that he has been looking at pornographic websites,Watched many romantic movies,listened to music, Alhamdulillah with the help of Allah I have destroyed most of this against his will;he tries to watch movie but He has stopped looking at pornographic material bcuz I found out on the computer. Another thing which I also would like to tell you about is that, there was a couple of times when my son was baby that my husband used to carry him on his lap and he would get an erection, even while talking on the phone.I don't know if this is normal or not? I don't know who to ask. Please help me as to what I should do. If you need to ask me anything else please do so! Sometimes I feel like I should leave; I feel so worthless in his eyes, we do have one child Alhamdulillah 4 good n bad I look forward to your response inshaAllah. Alhamdulillah 'ala kull haal Jazakum Allah khair,salamalaikom

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to make a way out to your difficulty and reconcile between you and your husband, as He is The Most Generous.

You should know that in principle a Muslim is innocent and one should not be suspicious of what a Muslim does. You should be very careful of the devil who would make you see things as if they are a reality while they are actually not a reality and he would make you see what is not intended by your husband as something intended in order to spoil the relationship between you and him. Indeed, such whispers could lead to a psychological harm and disadvantages which you never expected.

However, if it is confirmed that your husband does what you mentioned in the question, like looking at marriageable women and looks at girls with desire, in addition to him watching pornographic films and the like, then there is no doubt that he is negligent and does abominable things. Therefore, we advise you to be patient with him and you should advise him in a soft and good manner. Moreover, you should earnestly supplicate Allaah to guide him and turn him into a righteous person. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83052.

Nonetheless, you should not ask him to divorce you because of those sins, but if you are really harmed by staying with him, in this case you may ask him for divorce even in return for compensation in order to repel this harm. However, you should not hasten to ask for divorce unless you balance between the benefit of divorce and the benefit of staying with him as his wife, especially that you have a child from him.

Finally, we advise the husbands to remember the Saying of Allaah (which means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them — perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}[Quran 4:19], and the saying of the Prophet : "A male believer should not hate a female believer; if he dislikes one quality in herself, he would like another quality in her." [Muslim]