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My chest is heavy. A volcano is about to erupt inside me. I need to cry. I do not want to speak with anyone. Similar sentences are repeated by many wives. Sometimes these words are spoken in a loud voice in front of others and sometimes the woman says them to herself. Women talk and talk and repress their feelings. The volcanoes remain inside them waiting for a time to erupt while she is unable to express herself. This is because of the way she was brought up, or for psychological reasons. Repression accumulates and results in psychological and physiological diseases, making it absolutely necessary for a woman to express her feelings.
Mistakes in Self-Expression
Dr. Ahmad Raami, a consultant and teacher of psychiatry in Ain Shams University, defines emotions as physiological changes that take place in the body and should be let out and expressed. Although it is said that the people of the East and the Mediterranean are full of emotions, this is not quite true because all people have emotions.
The results of the studies that were conducted on Egyptians and Arabs showed that they do not express their feelings, and moreover, they are not allowed to. This applies to both men and women, and this is why the feelings of Egyptian women, are often let out in the form of crying, wailing, fainting or other physical behavior. When someone represses their feelings, they will suffer a psychological disorder or a physiological disease due to their predisposition. Depression, anxiety and hypertension are the most common disorders resulting from poor self-expression.
A study revealed that the inability to express emotions is one of the reasons behind drug addiction. Dr. Hishaam stresses that a person's ability to express himself can be enhanced through modified educational methods. School children should be encouraged to speak about and explain their inner feelings: anger, joy, hatred or love.
Dr. Hishaam points out that a husband is the closest person to his wife and the one person to whom she can express her feelings freely and fearlessly. However, unfortunately, the reality is often the opposite. In our society, women express their feelings to their friends and siblings more than to their husbands. A woman should know how to speak to her parents and her husband in the right manner, and to express her feelings without fear. Dr. Raami emphasizes that there should be mature ways of expressing one’s feelings. Mature expression is speaking about how we feel with the least accompanying physical movements. If this is not allowed, one resorts to expression in different and improper ways.
Means of Expression
Dr. Ahmad Kamaal Mutaawi‘, a professor of Cardiology, sees that if the repression of feelings is accompanied by contentment and faith, then it guarantees the preservation of the family unity. On the other hand, repression of feelings in a forced manner that is accompanied by discontentment results in psychological conflict and leads to increased heart rates. Repressed feelings are not necessarily towards the husband; they may be towards a son or an authoritative brother. Dr. Ahmad says that expressing feelings may be in the form of a joke, letting a situation go and letting an inner feeling out in the form of behavior, not just words. The repressed feelings of the mother may be due to her failure to fulfill the obligations of motherhood especially if she is a working mother.
