1. Women
  2. Highlights

The Preventative Remedy for Spinsterhood

The Preventative Remedy for Spinsterhood

We have previously spoken about the causes of spinsterhood and then about its impact and harms. It is now necessary to speak about the practical solution to this problem that has become phenomenal in many Muslim societies.

At the outset, I would like to state that this calamity has not occurred overnight or by chance. Our society has caused it and it has been increasing it through our customs, traditions, and obsessions that contradict our religion. 
 
Although the problem has become complicated and aggravated - due to numerous old and new reasons - the solutions are still in our hands if we truly want to be free of this affliction. I do not mean that the remedy is easy; it is a difficult and long path that requires collaborated efforts, united hands, and the participation of all people whether they be fathers, mothers, callers to Islam, judges, teachers, Imaams, media professionals, or others.
 
Before we try to find remedies for an ailment, we have to know the reasons behind the ailment itself, so we may choose the most useful treatment and most effective remedy. Never did Allah The Almighty create an ailment except that He created a remedy for it. Whenever the remedy of an ailment is obtained, the ailment will be cured, with the Permission of Allah The Exalted.
 
We have looked into the causes behind this ailment and mentioned only some of them, due to the lack of time. To all the causes of this problem, there is one solution: to return to the religion; to return to Islam; to return to the purified Sharee‘ah.
 
This solution is not only meant to solve the problem, but for us to continually abide by the rules of our Sharee’ah. This is in general.   Before we go into detail, I wish to state that Allah The Almighty revealed this Sharee‘ah and this religion to purge the hearts of people, purify their souls, make their lives happy, ease everything for them that is related to this life and the Hereafter, and grant them spiritual and physical happiness. Whoever adheres to the Sharee‘ah will be eternally happy in his life and in the Hereafter; and whoever ignores it or exchanges it for anything else - whatever it may be - Allah The Almighty will ruin his life and make him blind and misguided away from the path that would lead him to happiness in his Hereafter. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {…Then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter]. And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind. He will say, ‘My Lord, why have You raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?’ [Allah] will say, ‘Thus did Our Signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten.’ And thus do We recompense he who transgressed and did not believe in the signs of his Lord. And the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe and more enduring.} [Quran 20:123-127]
 
When the Ummah (Muslim nation) abided by the Sharee‘ah, these problems were unheard of, except for some exceptional cases which cannot be taken as a rule. When the Ummah abandoned the teachings of its religion and was open to cultural invasion, plagues, diseases, and afflictions appeared among its people. If we return to Allah The Almighty, He will return to us. Allah The Almighty Says (what means):
  • {It is expected, [if you repent], that your Lord will have mercy upon you. But if you return [to sin], We will return [to punishment]} [Quran 17:8]
  • {Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves}[Quran 13:11]
Treating this problem lies in the following:
1-    Rebuilding the Ummah’s religious and creedal structure: The Ummah’s sound creed has been tampered with so that many people are confused about their faith and belief in Allah The Almighty and His Messenger,  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ). The certainty of many people has weakened to such a degree that they are no longer sure that if a person wants to marry seeking chastity, Allah The Almighty will help him, expand his sustenance and provide for him from where he expects and from where he does not expect. Marriage has no longer become an act of worship in the eyes of some people. It has become a form of lust instead of being a good deed that is meant to please Allah The Almighty and to gratify one’s needs chastely. Some people have come to the point that they cast doubts about some Sharee‘ah-established rulings, such as the permissibility of polygyny. Instead of taking polygyny as a solution, they use its permissibility to attack Islam and its adherents. Added to that is the fact that hearts are not certain that solving the problems lies in obeying Allah The Almighty and His Messenger,  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ).
2-    Rebuilding morals: This could be done through replanting the correct concepts in people's minds, especially young children. We have to teach them to be pure and chaste and strengthen in their hearts the meanings of honor, magnanimity, protecting honor, chivalry, manhood, excellence, modesty, and lowering the gaze, especially with the invasion of satellite television channels and other media that aim at destroying all meanings of virtue while promoting vice and immorality.
Almost everything that is presented to our sons and daughters is a call to immorality. It is a misleading call for displaying charms, showing body parts, and destroying every fort of virtue. Women's magazines publish nothing but makeup, nudity, the latest ‘fashions’, and celebrities’ love stories. Men's magazines publish the topics of sports, love, or sex. Other magazines only write about marital betrayals and drug-related stories, causing the reader to believe that life is made up of only these things. Films are, as we all know, are just like brothels in Muslim households. The media do not highlight normal family life or the virtues of marriage; they only present lust that corrupts people. With all of this, nothing can protect the youth except early marriage, for those who can financially afford it. Those who cannot afford to get married have to preserve their modesty and chastity. The Prophet,  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ), said: “O young people, whoever among you can marry should marry, for it helps lower the gaze and protect the private part; whoever could not marry should fast, for it diminishes sexual desire.”

Related Articles