Selam aleykum, I have a big problem with myself, please help me. 4 years ago I had a boyfriend, he was not a Muslim. I am a Muslim. We were in love. I left my family (they did not agree with relation) and we lived together. I got pregnant. After 100 days (3,5 months) I did abortion, because I was afraid of the reaction of my family. He was very sad. We are not together anymore because of abortion. I have regretted for the abortion. I lost my baby, my boyfriend and my family. Please tell me what should I do that Allah forgives me and that people whom I have hurt forgive me. I do not have peace in my heart especially for the abortion. Do I have to pay blood money, how much do I have to pay and to who (in euro)? What else should I do? Please help me I cry every day. The pain has influenced my health so much that my stomach and heart are getting each day worst. Thanks. Selam!

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that having a boyfriend, committing fornication with him, aborting the foetus, and disobeying your Lord and your parents, all these are grave major sins. However, the Mercy of Allah is vast, and He has Decreed on Himself to be Most Merciful.

You can mend what you have done by sincere repentance to Allah. Allah Says while urging His Slaves to repent (what means): {Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning] do not despair of the Mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He Who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.} [Quran 39:53]

Furthermore, the Prophet   informed us that Allah is happy when a person repents to Him, and that a person who repents from sin is as if he had never sinned. Moreover, Allah informed us that He changes the sins of those who sincerely repent to Him into good deeds as He Says (what means): {Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic monotheism), and do righteous deeds, for those Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} [Quran 25:70]

If you are sincere in asking about what you should do so that Allah forgives you, then you should take the initiative to immediately repent to Allah by regretting what you did and stop committing them and being determined not to return to them ever again. If you sincerely do this for Allah, then have glad tidings that Allah will forgive you. Additionally, you should seek the Forgiveness of Allah as much as possible and perform good deeds as much as you can. Allah Says (what means): {But Allah would not punish them while you, [O Muhammad], are among them, and Allah would not punish them while they seek forgiveness.} [Quran 8:33]

You should not consider losing your boyfriend as a loss; rather this is a blessing from Allah that He kept you away from the sin which you were indulged in with him. Moreover, you should try to please your parents and return to them, and we think that they will not refuse you if you go to them regretting what you did and seeking their forgiveness, and if they know that you sincerely repented to Allah.

As regards the foetus that you aborted, then you should pay a Diyyah for aborting him –along with repenting for having done so as we mentioned.

For more benefit on the Diyyah and how much you should pay, please refer to Fatwa 101103 and to Fataawa 87903 and 83145 about sincere repentance and its conditions, and Fataawa 85258 and 83101 about the prohibition of a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim man.

Finally, we ask Allah to enable you to repent and we ask Him to accept your repentance and the repentance of disobedient Muslims.

Allah Knows best.