who is the leader of a family, the wife or the husband? who should a wife lessons about financial and other family affairs management, as to where to live and how to live? her father or her rightful husband? when would it be ligitimate a wife to refuse/deny to have a sexual intercourse with her rightful husband? can a wife use her earnings any way she like? what is father-in law's roll of his daughter's family affairs? can a husband refuse to share a place of residence anyone other than his wife and kids? Please be as clear as you can be for the answers. i would appreciate if all the answers contain THE AYAT AL QURAN ALKARIM AND AHADITH. Assalamu-alaykum.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The husband is the person in charge of the family and it is his word that must be taken into account; it is him who runs the affairs of the family and protects its well-being; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84040.

There is no doubt that the wife resides with her husband, and it is not permissible for her to separate from him in order to live with her parents or to go out of his home without his permission. However, if she has her own money, she has the right to spend it as she wishes within what is permissible. Her husband has no right to control her money or to prevent her from spending it as she wishes (within permissible grounds). She has the right to take advice either from her husband or her father as long as she does not violate the Islamic Law when spending her money. Furthermore, her father has no control over her after she is married and he has no right to interfere in the affairs of her home without the consent of her husband. Besides, her husband has the right to prevent her father or anyone else from residing with him in the same house, and it is not permissible for his wife to let anyone enter her husband’s home whom she knows that her husband does not like; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 101899 and 92453.

Besides, the wife is not permitted to prevent her husband from having sexual intercourse with her when he asks her to bed, as we clarified in Fataawa 100429 and 84944.

Finally, for more benefit on the rights and obligations of the spouses towards each other, please refer to Fatwa 85308. 

Allaah Knows best.