I am a widow. My late husband left 3 children (2m, 1f) from his previous marriage (1st. wife divorced). After his death, I adopted a son, since I didn't have any children with him. He is survived by his 2 parents, 3 siblings, 5 nephews & nieces. When he died, he left behind some money and credit card debts. At his funeral, some money were given by his friends. From those money, his debts were settled & funeral expenses (grave stone) were paid. A sum was also spent on drinks / food for the tahlil prayer sessions held after his funeral. How should I distribute the remaining monies?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

If the adoption which you are referring to is to educate this child and fulfill his needs while tracing him back to his real father, then this is permissible. However, he is a non-Mahram to you, so it is not permissible for you to be in seclusion with him or appear in front of him without Hijab once he reaches the age of adolescence which is the period before puberty.

However, if you had changed his name in a way that he is traced back to your husband, then this is forbidden as we clarified in Fatwa 82371.

As regards what is known by grave stone, then we have already clarified its ruling in Fatwa 90624.

With regard to the gathering of people in Thikr sessions after the burying of the dead and preparing food and drinks for them [the people], then this is an evil innovation that must be abandoned.

As for the money that you spent on it, it is either from your own money or from the money that was gifted to you by your husband’s friends, in this case, you are only required to repent to Allaah and seek His Forgiveness.

However, if the money that you spent is from the money of the heirs, then you should guarantee this money and you are obliged to give it back because it is the own property of the heirs. Nonetheless, if his parents and adult children renounce their right to the spent money, then the guarantee is waived in regard to their right. However, you should give back the share of his young children, and no one may renounce their right on their behalf.

Concerning dividing the inheritance, then the father gets one-sixth, the mother gets one-sixth, you get one-eight, and the remainder should be divided amongst the children of the dead, the male twice the share of the female.