AsalamoAlaikum
Kindly clarify me on this issue.
I am Muslim who follow Islam based on evidence.(Alhamdulilah). My family is barelvi and they differ me in alot of ways.
I am kind of independent and want to propose someone for engagement given that i have quite some time left in my graduation.
The issue is that the female person whom i want to propose is from Deobands and they follow hanafi madhab. They do not marry people outside their race.
I need a partner in future who can understand my goal of nearness to Allah and jihad for His sake and not blind following. If i talk to some one to their family or through my family they are likely to reject me since they would most probably reject given that i do not agree completely with their style of following and their policy of not marrying outside their race.
Am i allowed to write a letter to that female person explaining who i am and what are my goals and makes things clear and ask her acceptance for engagement and then send her formal proposal(to the family). There is my family and her family but given that both family's style of following is not like mine so i though it would be better to clarify directly somehow in permissible way. Could you
suggest a permissible way other than a letter?
I am doing jihad against my family's deviated ways and her family's way of following one madhab is not my way.
Kindly do not put this on web and keep it confidential.
Jazak Allah

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

The Barelwi sect is undoubtedly a Sufi sect that is based on deviant beliefs and thoughts some of which lead to disbelief. For further information see Fatwa 87790. You have done well by keeping steadfast on the truth and avoiding this sect. We advise you to be gentle with your people and cooperate with your steadfast brothers in conveying the truth and teaching people goodness with wisdom, beautiful admonition and patience over any possible harm. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "By Allaah, if Allaah guides one single man through you, it would be better for you than possessing the red camels [i.e. the most precious kind of camels]." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

As for the Deobandi sect and their staunch support of the Hanafi School of jurisprudence, there is no doubt that a Muslim should in principle follow the evidence. This is the duty of the Muslim who is able to recognize the evidence and its indications, compare between the jurists' opinions, know the preponderant of them and act according to it. But a Muslim who lacks this ability is allowed to follow a specific School of jurisprudence, such as the Hanafi School as mentioned in the question. Yet, it is not obligatory on him to follow this School of jurisprudence; he is permitted to act according to the Fatwa given to him by a scholar who follows any School of jurisprudence, provided the scholar is righteous.

As for marriage, religiousness and good moral conduct are the considerable criteria for equivalence in marriage, and the matrimonial guardian should not reject a suitor merely on the basis of his race or the like. Nevertheless, they have the right to decline your marriage proposal to their daughter as it is not an obligation on them to accept your proposal even if you are religious, and have good manners. However, there is no harm in writing a letter to the girl in question in order to explain to her your desire for marriage to her or anything else which does not contradict the Sharee‘ah. Perhaps it would be preferable if you did this through someone you trust of your female relatives.

It seems that your marriage to this girl involves many obstacles, in addition to your need for some time to complete your marriage. Therefore, we suggest that you wait until you finish your studies, and perhaps during that interval you will find a righteous girl from your family or from people who do not turn down marriage proposals on the basis of race.

Allaah Knows best.