AsalamuAlykum,
Dear scholars I am planning to get married by year end InshaAllah. I have a question regarding the wedding
feast and ceremony. I live in Kashmir. Here we have a tradition of inviting lots of guests to the feast and quintals
of mutton, chicken and vegetables etc, are served to the guests and I must admid most of it goes waste. I myself want to
arrange the feast in an austere manner and instead of inviting full families of my relatives, neighbours and friends; invite one or two
people from each family. But my parents want to invite all of them. So, am I right? As far as my knowledge of Islam is
concerned I believe there never used to be such a grand feast in the lifetime of Prophet(SAW) and his Sahabah(RA). I also know that
even though at that time they used to have a lots of cattle, they never arranged such a grand feast in their marriages.
Another thing I want to know is, here we have a tradition of celebrating the mehandi raat (Bride usually along with her friends
wear henna etc;) preceding the walima. Also, after seven days the family and relatives of bride are invited to the feast and
they then take the bride with them before she finally comes back to husband's home. In between all this, after day or two of walima
bride's family invites the groom and bride to their home for a feast. Are all these celebrations within the ambits of Islam?
Earnestly, waiting for you reply. As I want to start this occasion with this aim in mind that I have to please Allah.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Ibn Hajar stated that it is desirable to hold the Waleemah (marriage banquet) according to the circumstances of the husband as Allaah Says (what means): {Allaah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.}[Quran 2:286]

Therefore, it is permissible for a person in his Waleemah to cook much food in order to feed a great number of people.

Hence, the people should not be prevented from doing this habit; rather, they should be prevented from being extravagant and doing what is beyond their capacity as mentioned in the texts of the Sharee’ah, and this is clarified in Fataawa 88435 and 86120.

However, since this is the custom of the people (in your country) and it is the wish of your parents to do like them, then you should obey them in this if you are well-off.

As regards the food that could remain (after the banquet), it could be saved for the family or distributed among the neighbors, but it should not be thrown into the dustbin as this is evil and being ungrateful for the bounties of Allaah.

With regard to what is called the night of henna (Mehandi) or the mutual invitation between the two families of the spouses, then there is nothing wrong in this provided this does not include any religious prohibitions.

In principle, all customs are permissible unless it contradicts Sharee’ah as we clarified in Fatwa 99480.

Allaah Knows best.