my husband has two wives,me being second.i argue when my husband does not come regularly to me giving reasons of tiredness due to office work and i argue when he priases his first wife.he has beaten me many times on my arguments but still i do.what should i do.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

We have already issued Fatwa 82124 clarifying that it is an obligation on the husband to be just between his two wives in regard to spending the night with them. Therefore, if your husband is not just between you and his other wife in regard to spending the night with you and her, then he is wrong. Giving excuses that he is very tired is not a sound reason, so you have the right to ask him to be just between you and her. However, you should not argue with him because of this; rather, you should advise him in a good and soft manner and remind him of Allaah, and ask Allaah to rectify him and turn him into a pious husband.

Besides, if what you mentioned is true that he praises his first wife in front of you, then he should not do so because this is not having good marital relationship with you. Also, beating the wife is not permissible except under certain restrictions, meaning when she is disobedient and according to a given method, meaning that the hitting should not be hard and it should not leave any marks. Besides, beating the wife when she is disobedient should be preceded by some steps which we clarified in Fatwa 85402.

In any case, if your husband is not rectified and you are harmed by staying with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce due to the harm. However, we advise you not to do so unless you are sure that this is the best solution for you.

It should be mentioned that in case the husband is wrong and is not just in regard to spending the night with his wives, there is a difference of opinion among the jurists whether or not he should make up the days that he missed with a given wife. The closest opinion to the truth is the view of the Shaafi’i and Hanbali Schools that the husband is obliged to make up the days that he missed.

Finally, we remind both spouses to fear Allaah and treat each other nicely according to what is mentioned in the Saharee’ah. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85308.

Allaah Knows best.