My husband has a first wife and he stay one day with her and another day with me and so on, but she always calls him for him to go help her and their kids with things they may need but when I call him he always tells me that he cant help me and that he will just help me when he stays with me and our kids, he makes me feel like he preffers them more even when she is rude to him and never listen to him, she also argues with him all the time and when she does that she always kicks him out of their house and he ends up stay at our house for days at a time. Is he wrong for staying with her? or am I wrong for staying with him? Is it

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

We did not clearly understand your question, so we will answer it according to our understanding of it and our answer to it will be as follows:

There is no religious impediment to the fact that your husband is living with his first wife and is patient with her, and that he does not divorce her despite the way she treats him as you mentioned. If she really treats him harshly and disobeys him and fights with him, then she is a disobedient wife and the Sharee’ah clarified how to deal with a disobedient wife and this is explained in Fatwa 85402.

Likewise, you are not wrong for living with your husband or for being patient with him, because among the most important factors of the marital life is to tolerate the mistakes that may happen from any of the two spouses towards the other.

So, if a spouse finds any negative traits in his partner, this should not prevent him from considering the positive traits which are often more than the negative ones. Allaah Says (what means): {And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you.}[Quran 2:237]

Indeed, the jurists stated that if the husband is in the turn of one of his wives it is not permissible for him to go to his other wife except for a necessity or dire need provided that his staying with her does not exceed the period of the dire need or necessity. In case he stays longer than that, he has to make up that time for the wife whose turn was affected by that.

On the other hand, if the husband responds to one of his two wives when she needs him and does not respond to the other, then it is not appropriate for him to do that. Also, a wife should not ask her husband for help [when it is the turn of his other wife] unless it is necessary for her to do that.

Allaah Knows best.