Assalam alaykum, I am married with 3 kids. I felt in love and we came close without any sexual intercourse in the relation. To make things in a right accepted way I decided to take her as my second wife. I have asked her parents and my parents who with difficult agreed and made us responsible for whatever desicion i take. The only issue is that my wife doesnt agree and mayb she will ask for divorce if marry for second time. 1)My question is can i procede to marry her despite this knowing it might break my first family structure. 2)Second if iam not able to do marry her, how can i ask Allah for mercy for coming into a relation. I tried my best to do whats permitted in islam and be honest with everyone and not do any injustice. Jazakallahu khairan

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Marriage is the best advice that could be given to those who are in love as confirmed in the authentic Sunnah. Ibn ‘Abbaas   narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam,  said: ''The best solution for those who are in love is marriage.” [Ibn Maajah]

Also, marrying more than one wife is permitted provided some conditions are met; these conditions are clarified in Fatwa 81469. Therefore, if you are able to be just between two wives, it is permissible for you to marry another wife. You do not have to seek the permission of your first wife in this regard, and it does not matter whether she accepts or refuses. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85948 and 84411.

Hence, you should be wise in your decision; so if you predominantly think that marrying a second wife may lead to disadvantages, like the breaking up of your family, then it is more appropriate that you should avoid doing so.

In any case, if you do not marry this woman, you should cut any relationship with her, as it is not permissible for a Muslim man to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram woman, whether or not they committed Zina (fornication or adultery). Also, you must repent from what you have committed. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 81356 and 86527.

As regards love sickness, then its treatment is easy and we have clarified this in Fatwa 84544. Therefore, you should be determined and be sincere with your Lord, and Allaah will cure your heart from this disease with His Grace and Mercy.

Allaah Knows best.