i am married and living with my mother in law since last 10 yrs ,thou he has an elder brother where they lived tog, after my marriage he and his mother came tog my concern is my husband been the lst son attachment and bonding is true but my husband get upset or even angry when ever i say anything regarding his mother and i try to talk to him for solutions but we land up arguing or angry , i am very upset and his mother doesnt wanna stay with the elder son and my husband wants her to stay here ,what can i do to make things better .i have 2 kids and all decisions are mostly my mother in laws .pls suggest in islamic sunnah whats best i can do. i cant stand us fighting or my husband getting angry i wanna us be better pls suggest

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

It is your right over your husband that he provides you with a residence independent of his family. Legally, you are not required to live with any of them, including his mother. This has been previously explained in Fatwa 84608. If the mother needs someone to take care of her or she wants her son to fulfill some duties for her, then he can find a (separate) residence near her for this purpose.

However, the best thing, and that to which we counsel you, is to have patience and to discuss this matter with your husband with kindness and leniency. That which is done with kindness results in goodness. You must also make Du‘aa’, as that is the way to achieve what is sought. Allaah The Exalted said (what means): {And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60].

If this matter requires asking for the intervention of some righteous people, then do so. For more benefit, refer to Fatwa 128968, which covers some guidelines for the wife who lives with her dominating mother-in-law in the same household.

As for the husband, he must generally strive to fulfill the rights of both the mother and the wife. He should not favor one’s rights over those of the other. Indeed, this is the conduct of an intelligent and wise husband.

Allaah Knows best.