please help as Iam worried, I am married since 10 years I had three children my husband had affair with other woman before he got married to me and as soon as he got married to me he did a second marriage within three months as they were in relation ship already. I came to know when I was 7months pregnant with baby boy. I just prayed to God and did sabr and accepted his second marraiges but the women he got married to has already divorced 2 husbands and my husband is 3rd to her. I hope you understand what i am trying to say. She is very fast and bold she always curse me and my children but until 3 years of my marriage I accepted that and after that we started to have finacial difficulties with all this stress. as I am educated my husband told me that we will try to go overseas on my dependant visa so that I can study and he can work and support the family. I agreed to this we came to Australia after 4 years of our married life. But, I always had sympathy on my husband and helped him in any circumstances, but as the days passed in Australia his phone calls increased to india and his second wife always fights and curses me and my 3 children as I sacrificed my children and I left them with my parents to support him and his second wife. he went to india every 6 months to meet her and stayed for 1 month always. that brings us down to financial crisis again and again. so looking at this I also started working and my husband spent all my money on his family and wife. but still his second wife is not satisfied. after 9 years of my marriage I got frustrated and strated to argue with my husband all the time. he wanted me to give all my half earnings to his second wife and children. I don't know what to do? my children are still overseas away from me. please help me now I am really fed up with my relationship as I came to know that my husband always speek to her in a polite way and tells all the wrong stories to me. I am in trouble I want some sugeestion under light of islam thanks

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The wise Sharee’ah has instructed the husbands to treat their wives with kindness as we have already clarified in Fatwa 88304. So, you have the right that your husband maintains a good marital relationship with you, and his second wife has also the right that he maintains a good marital relationship with her.

If what you said about his second wife is true that she mistreats you and your children, then she is not permitted to do so, and she is sinful and unjust. It is your husband's duty to prevent her from her injustice and repel her harm from you and your children.

However, his second wife has the right that your husband be just with her regarding overnight stay. The fact that she and your husband are in two different countries does not mean that she is excluded from this right as we have already clarified in Fataawa 90663 and 131284.

Besides, you are not obliged to help your husband with money so that he would travel to her or spend on her or on her children. Also, he is not permitted to take anything from your money without your proper consent. Please refer to Fatwa 168551 which clarifies that the income of the wife is her own money.

We advise you to be patient and to try to reach mutual understanding with your husband in a soft and gentle way, and you should both try to solve any problem that may affect your marital life and lead to divorce whose first victims might be the children.

Finally, if marital life is impossible between you and your husband, and you can no longer be patient with him, and you are harmed by staying with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce.

Allaah Knows best.