Before marriage I was with a girl out of wedlock, ive had two children with the girl out of wedlock. I tried to keep it all quiet so I could keep my family happy. Well eventually it all came out nd I saw no other option to leave home. Now im with the girl out of wedlock looking after my children. Ive become colse to the kids and I dont want them to grow up without a dad. I am alone and without any family or friends which I think I deserve for ehat I done. In my head the kids shouldnt hsve to grow without me. But have I done right?? I need advice plz

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

With regard to your question “….have I done right?”, if by this you refer to your illegal relationship with that girl, then there is no doubt that it is forbidden, and you are obligated to immediately and sincerely repent and cut this relationship with her, please refer to the conditions of repentance in Fatwa 86527.

But if you mean leaving your marital home, then if this leads to leaving your wife and neglecting some of her rights, or being negligent about the rights of your children, then this is not permissible. ‘Abdullaah ibn 'Amr narrated that the Prophet said: “It is enough a sin for a person not to provide sustenance to those whom he is obligated to support.” [Abu Daawood]

Besides, the child born out of Zina (adultery or fornication) is not traced back to the adulterer or fornicator, but he should be traced back to his mother according to the view of the majority of the jurists and this is the view we adopt here in Islamweb. Based on this opinion, you have no relation with these two children in principle, but some jurists are of the view that if the fornicator/adulterer attributes these children to himself, then they are attributed to him (they take the same family lineage like him). For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 84788 and 85430.

If that girl sincerely repents, it becomes permissible for you to marry her provided she makes sure that she is not pregnant (by observing three menses according to the view of the scholars, or one menses occording to another view) and provided you are able to be just between her and your first wife. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83769, 183497 and 81469.

However, we recommend that you take the initiative to solve your problem; as disappearing and going away from your family and friends will not benefit you in anything; rather, it will cause you harm. In case someone tries to blame you for what you did, then remind him that Allaah accepts the repentance of the one who repents and He forgives and pardons. Besides, it is not permissible to reproach a Muslim or harm him because of a sin from which he had repented. You should remind them of the Hadeeth in which the Prophet said: ''O you who are Muslims by tongue but ‘Eemaan (faith) has not entered your hearts! Do not harm the Muslims, and do not reproach them (because of their defects) and do not pursue their faults (imperfections), because if someone pursues the faults of his Muslim brother, Allaah will pursue his faults, and he whom Allaah pursues his faults, He would disgrace him even in his own dwelling.” [At-Tirmithi]

Finally, if you remain steadfast on obedience and you are sincere in doing so, then this will urge the people to respect you and refrain from reproaching you for your past.

Allaah Knows best.