A Muslim wife living with non-Muslim in-laws Fatwa No: 216709
- Fatwa Date:9-9-2013
I want to marry a boy who converted to Islam from Hinduism. He wishes for us to stay with his Hindu parents after marriage. I would be taking care of the house as well as tending to his parents. I know that Islam emphasizes treating parents with respect and caring for them in old age. I want to take care of his parents and live with them. My parents however want us to live separately because they feel it is "unislamic" to be living with Hindu parents and siblings. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger. The wife has the right to a separate accommodation; however, if she waived her right and accepted to live with her husband's family in a way that does not cause any evil such as mixing with non-Mahram men and the like, then this will be permissible for her. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 84608 and 180019.
None of the Muslim scholars has prohibited the wife from living with or serving the non-Muslim parents of the husband as long as this causes no harm or evil. Religion came with a general principle which is observing kindness with non-belligerant non-Muslims as Allaah The Almighty says (what means): {Allaah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes - from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allaah loves those who act justly.}[Quran 60:8]
However, she should have the good intention of endearing Islam to them and reconciling their hearts and being a means of guiding them (to Islam). It is worth noting here that serving them has to be far from what implies that she becomes humiliated and disrespected by those individuals. That is because humiliation of the Muslim by the non-Muslim is Islamically prohibited. Therefore, some scholars prohibited the Muslim to do personal serving for the non-Muslim. Ibn Qudaamah said in Al-Mughni: "It is not permissible for the Thimmi (a non-Muslim living in an Islamic state) to hire a Muslim to serve him. The same thing was stated by Imaam Ahmad in the narration of Al-Athram, as he said: "If he accepts to serve a Thimmi, this will not be permissible." He (Ibn Qudaamah) then explained the reason behind that saying: "We believe that it is a contract that includes restraining, humiliating and using a Muslim by a non-Muslim." For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81686.
Also, we have to note that if living with the family of your husband leads to helping them in their falsehood and disbelief or attending the ceremonies of disbelief with them without denouncing them, then, this will not be permissible. For more benefit, please refer to 90759.
The same ruling applies if this leads to the prohibited seclusion and mixing with non-Mahram (marriageable) males such as the brothers-in-law.
Finally, it should be taken into consideration what you have mentioned that your parents want you to have a separate accommodation. Then, if you can convince that man of that to fulfill the wish of your parents, then this is good. If you cannot convince him but you can convinced your parents to accept that you live with your husband's parents, then it is ok, otherwise, you can waive your right in having a separate accommodation as we have stated before. In this case, you have the right to marry that man and live with his family, even if your parents do not approve that.
Allaah Knows best.