He is forced to attend functions that involve mixing and music Fatwa No: 217525
- Fatwa Date:26-10-2013
I work in a military organization in which I am bound to attend some social functions and in case I refuse to do so I am likely to be punished by being sent on adverse posting to non-family stations leaving my wife and kids for 2 to 3 years, or other disciplinary actions which may lead to court marshal. The nature of the functions include welcome and farewell dinners to the families of other colleagues. These dinners are arranged in a hall or open lawn in which men and women sit separately with generally a gap of 20 to 30 feet in between. However, there is no physical partition in between. Although at no point both the men and women interact or chat with one another. My first question is that in my case specifically, where i am forced to join such dinners, am I allowed to join, when in my heart I actually want to avoid such parties for Allah's sake. My other question is that although generally there is no background music in such parties, however, if a back ground music is played on a cassette player, now can I join such a dinner if I am forced to? which actually I would not have joined with free will for Allah's sake. Moreover, in case men and women sit mixed on some tables and I manage to sit on a table exclusive for men in the same hall, will that be allowed? I have written to the commander in chief regarding the prohibition of the mixed gatherings and have been interviewed by my senior staff many a times. Can I have a rukhsat of joining such dinners if I have conveyed my message and still I am being forced to join? Because the other option is leaving the military which involves complex issues like investigations by intelligence agencies, posting to non-family stations, stress on my wife and kids and above all at least in military I can actually not be forced to tell a lie, financial cheating, bribery etc, but in civil jobs all these evil are there. so will my leaving current job due to the above mentioned types of gatherings be wise in such a scenario?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger. There is no blame on you in attending such functions as long as those who arrange them are keen on separating men from women as you have mentioned, but avoid sitting on the same table with women.
It is not included in the prohibited mixing between men and women just to have them under the same roof or in the same place if there is adherence to the Islamic guidelines. Al-Mawsoo‘ah Al-Fiqhiyyah (The Fiqh Encyclopedia) reads: "Ruling of mixing between men and women differs according to whether it is in conformity with Islamic criteria or not. Thus, mixing is prohibited if it involves seclusion with a non-Mahram woman, looking at her with desire, lack of decency of the woman, wearing revealing clothes, acting immorally, dissoluteness and touching other people's bodies..."
As for some organizers of such ceremonies playing music, you can tell them that it is prohibited to do that and guide them to a lawful alternative instead of playing music and prohibited songs such as the Islamic songs that are free from music. It is even more appropriate if you bring with you some of them if necessary, but be keen to adopt wisdom while enjoining good and forbidding evil and if they do not respond to you, you should denounce that with your heart; for the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); and if he cannot, then with his heart (by hating it and feeling it is wrong), and that is the weakest of faith." [Muslim and others]
Allaah Knows best.