Assalamu alykum sir, I am 17 yrs old and my cousin big brother is about 21 yrs old we both used to play cricket on the roof and sometimes ball falls down by the hit of the bat. the one who hits the ball has to bring the ball from the ground. now when my big cousin brother hit the ball and it goes down he use to ask me to bring the ball. is this correct that I am small in age therefore I have to bring the ball for my big brother(cousin)? (excluding mother and father) Is this is obligatory to obey my uncle and ants and cousin brother in wordly matters?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

The paternal uncle and aunt are among the close relatives whom one is obliged to respect and revere, but they do not reach the status of the father and the mother in terms of the obligation of being obedient and dutiful to them and the prohibition of being disobedient to them. Therefore, you are not obliged to obey your uncle and your aunt, let alone obey their son, in worldly matters. However, you are obliged to keep ties with them in what is permissible.

Ibn Hajar al-Haytami said in his book entitled Az-Zawaajir fi Iqtiraaf al-Kabaa’ir: “It is clear that the children (i.e. brothers and sisters) and uncles are among the relatives, as well as the maternal aunt. So, the difference between cutting ties with them and being undutiful to the parents applies to them (brothers, sisters and uncles)  as well as her (aunt). 

As regards the saying of Az-Zarkashi that it is confirmed authentic in a Hadeeth: "that the maternal aunt is like the mother and that the uncle is parallel to the father and that they are treated like the father and mother, even in regard to disobeying them, then this is a distant probability and it is not the same thing at all, because the Hadeeth does not apply to them nor does it discuss the issue of being undutiful to them. So, it is enough to assimilate them in certain matters like the right of children's custody which is confirmed for the maternal aunt in the same manner that it is confirmed for the mother, and also in regard to being a Mahram woman [like the mother]. As for the uncle, he shares with the father the right of receiving due respect, honor and he is also a Mahram just like the father and other matters that are mentioned.

As regards comparing the parents with the uncle and aunt and saying that severing ties with the uncle and aunt is like severing ties with the parents, then, first of all, it is not explicitly mentioned in the Hadeeth and it is contrary to what our Imaams have said regarding the matter; so it cannot be reliable. Rather, the verses and Ahaadeeth indicate that the parents are the worthiest of the greatest share of one's care, respect and obedience to the exclusion of any other relatives. Treating the parents undutifully is considered dissoluteness whereas this is not the case when severing ties with other relatives.” [End of quote]

Based on the above, you are not obliged to obey your cousin regarding bringing the ball drop which he caused to fall down, unless you do so as an act of kindness to him.

Allaah Knows best.