Asc bro&sis. Me and my husband has been married over 2 year's but we have no kids. I have health issue which me and doctor think is the reason why i couldn't concieve however we are still trying im taking fertility medication. After one year of marriege my husband start looking els we wherefor second wife to fulfill his dreams when i find out his was talking to womens but one was more imprortant the others i asked what was going on btw him and her then he told me he was planning marrying her. It was heartbroken for me and i never thought my husband would that i ask him to divorce me as i didnt had a choice ! Then he promised me he wouldnt marry her as he didnt want to choice her over me. I find out he was still talking to her i ask him to divorce me so he did! As i love my husband i fail to give what he expect from i decide to back to my husband and accept him to have second wife. He was happy about my new decision and promise me many thing e.g refanishing the house gold jewllery set money he will spend with sat&sun now again he is willing to break the promises. I dont know what to do im even thinking to commit a suicide i feel i have been cheated and played family&friend told me leave him now they dont want listen. Please advice me im jealous and i dont know how to cope with. I dont think my husband can handle pressue and i dont think he will understand. Please make dua for me and i need your advice how to cope with jealousy.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

If your husband is having an unlawful relationship with other women as you mentioned, then he is committing an evil. It is impermissible for a Muslim man to have a relationship with a woman outside lawful marriage. Even if he wants to marry her, this does not allow him to have a relationship with her before marriage. This is even more evil and more blameworthy when the man is married. Please refer to Fatwa 81356.

If you asked for divorce because your husband wishes to take a second wife, then you should know that this is not a valid reason for asking for divorce. It is prohibited for a Muslim woman to ask for divorce for no valid reason. Please refer to Fatwa 131953 about the valid reasons for asking for divorce. You will know from that Fatwa that it is permissible for the wife to ask for divorce because of the husband’s bad moral character; however, divorce might not be the best choice in all cases, so be aware of that.

It is the obligation of the husband to treat his wives equally. As long as he gives each what she deserves of financial support, then there is no blame on him for favoring one of them over the other with a gift, as scholars mentioned. Ibn Qudaamah said: “The husband is not obliged to ensure (exact) equality between his wives in terms of financial support and clothing as long as he provides each of them with what she needs and fulfills her rights with respect to him. Imaam Ahmad said about the man who has two wives: He may favor one of them over the other in terms of financial support, sexual pleasure, or accommodation, as long as he provides his other wife with what she needs. He may buy one of them more expensive clothing as long as the other one has enough clothes. This is because observing absolute equality between one’s wives in every aspect is difficult. If it were obligatory on the husband to do so, he would not be able to do it except with great difficulty; hence, it is not obligatory just like maintaining equality between one’s wives in terms of sexual intercourse.” [Al-Mughni]

If your husband spends two days with you and two days with his other wife and your days happen to fall on a weekend (Saturday and Sunday) then there is no harm in that. But if this is a privilege that he gives you apart from her, then this is not permissible as it is not fair. However, if she is satisfied with this arrangement, then there is no harm.

Lastly, we would like to highlight two points:

First, beware of suicide. It is an affliction and not a solution. One who commits suicide will move on thereafter to the abode of misery and clear loss. Please refer to Fatwa 84296 about the stern warnings against suicide. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90132 about the guidelines for the wife to overcome jealousy towards her co-wife.

Second, you should never despair of the mercy of Allaah with regards to having children. Children are a blessing from Allaah; it is He Who confers such a blessing on His slave. Therefore, you are advised to implore Him with sincere intention and use all the available means to make this dream come true, especially by asking for forgiveness; Allaah, The Exalted, says in relation to Prophet Nooh (Noah) (what means): {And I said, ‘Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver/He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers/And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.} [Quran 71:10-12]

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 101116.

Allaah Knows best.