Dear Scholar. I am a married woman. When we got married, my parents gave me several properties because of the custom of our time. Now we live abroad. Whenever my husband needs money, he takes from it and spends it for his family. I did not take anything from that money myself, but he spends on me. I live abroad and he does not give me money to spend monthly. I do not have a big bank balance. Recently, I have started to fear for my and my children's future. I tried to get a job, but it did not work out. I heard that some husbands regularly give money to their wives to spend. Also, my husband travels a lot. In addition, if I want to sent a gift to my parents, he does not like it and gives little money. This only happens once every two years. I feel frustrated. Some people's parents comes often. But I cannot do that either. Did Allaah not order to be dutiful to one's parent; is that not Allaah's order? Not only does he not talk to them well over the phone, but he tried to insult me in front of people and ignored our relationship. I am patient for Allaah because I have three children. One day, I had a parking fine of 300$. He said that he could not pay that fine. I asked for the income of the property and said that if he could give some money I could pay that and could even look after my own needs. He said that he would give me all my property and that he would seperate from me. I said that in Islam I am entitled to that property and that I did not need all of it but just a part. Is this sinful, what I asked him? Will Allaah be angry at me? Please explain. I also would like to take my parents for a stay of three months. I thought that this money would help me. May Allaah reward you.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

Your money is your personal property, and it is impermissible for your husband to take anything from your property except what you willingly give him. The Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “Nothing shall be lawful to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it is given willingly.” [Ahmad] It is incumbent on the husband to provide for his wife, even if she is rich. Nevertheless, he is not obliged to give her a monthly allowance aside from the obligatory maintenance. Please, refer to fataawa 168551 and 83530.

Your husband has no right to prevent you from disposing of your wealth by paying the fine or buying gifts for your parents. He should help you show dutifulness towards your parents and have them come visit you. The Muslim is enjoined to be dutiful and kind towards his parents, and it is one of the greatest and most rewardable good deeds by means of which one draws closer to his Lord. We advise him to keep good relations with your father and foster mutual respect and appreciation. It is befitting of a well-mannered Muslim to keep good relations with his in-laws. Please, refer to fatwa 92118.

It is an aspect of mistreatment and bad companionship that your husband disrespects you before people and ignores the intimate relationship between the two of you. You should advise him and seek the help of whoever may be able to convince him. You should also implore Allaah, The Exalted, frequently to rectify your affairs.

For more benefit, please refer to fataawa 119794and 88304.

Allaah knows best.