I am married to a man who was previously married and has children. He divorced his first wife because she refused to go with him abroad where he works, in addition to many other problems. He warned her that if she did not respond to him, he would marry another woman. However, she did not object, so he married me and I gave birth to our children. Afterwards she asked him to divorce her and insisted on her demand. After three years of our happy marriage, my husband is thinking about returning to his first wife, for the sake of his children.
It should be noted that he does not neglect the rights of the children or their mother. I object to his returning to his first wife because of many reasons: first, she likes creating problems when she is divorced, so what would be the case when she returns to the marriage bond? Second, I feel I will not be able to bear this situation and that this will disturb the life of my husband. I am sure that this will lead me to lose my worldly life and Hereafter. In fact, my husband gave me the choice to let him take back his divorcee or not. He will act according to my wish. I am afraid of disobeying my Lord; should I ask him to divorce me and return her to the marriage bond? I think this is more merciful for me. Please advise me. I remind you that I cannot tolerate the situation after her return; Allaah is a Witness to the truthfulness of what I say.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

We advise you to deliberate and not to make a hasty decision. Perform Istikhaarah (guidance-seeking prayer), as it is mentioned in the Sunnah (Prophetic tradition), and consult wise and trustworthy members of your family. It is said that whoever performs Istikhaarah does not fail, and whoever consults others does not regret.

We do not advise you to ask your husband to divorce you because divorce is legislated for the cases when there is no room for agreement or conciliation between the spouses. Therefore, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The most hated lawful act to Allaah is divorce.” [Abu Daawood and others]

Also, returning to the first wife is a normal matter which is permitted by Allaah The Almighty. There are many co-wives who lead a happy, dignified life together with their husbands based on obedience to Allaah The Almighty and tolerance between them. Therefore, we advise you to stay with your husband who is the father of your children. Patience is the key to all sorts of goodness. If he humiliates you or neglects your rights, then, you have the right to ask for what you want or take an action. Perhaps your concerns and expectations are baseless. A wife does not have the right to object to the return of the first wife to her husband.

Allaah Knows best.