Assalaamu alaykum. A girl who loves me very much said that I am her Khoda (which we use for 'Allah' in Urdu). Here, the problem is not whether Khoda is the name of Allah or not, but the problem is that when we say Khoda (as everyone says in India and Pakistan), we mean Allah Almighty. Is what she said Kufr (disbelief)? If it is Kufr, then what should I say to her; to repeat the testimony of faith and repent? The problem is that I can say to her that she has uttered a word of Kufr, but I do not have the courage to say that she has become a disbeliever by saying this. If someone sees and hears someone doing act of Kufr or saying words of Kufr, then what should he advise the one who has done so with? What if someone has done something regarding which the scholars have disagreed about whether the act or saying is Kufr or not? What should the doer of the action do? Should he repeat the testimony of faith believing that the act was Kufr, or should he repent from that action? In our locality, I am the only one who follows the way of Ahl Al-Hadith, and even in our family. In our locality, there is only one mosque for Ahl Al-Hadith, and only 3-4 people attend the mosque, including me. Here, every one either belongs to the Barelvi sect or is Hindu. And there is no reliable scholar and imam here who can deal with these issues, so I very much depend on your website, Islamweb.net, and Islamqa.info.

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

We would like to thank you for interacting with our website and writing to us. May Allah reward you for your keenness on following the Sunnah and avoiding Bid‘ah (innovation in the religion). We advise you and the brothers who attend the mosque with you to take care of your people and teach them the truth using wisdom and kind preaching. Hopefully, Allah would guide them to the truth at your hands; verily, whoever guides others to good is like the one who does it (in terms of reward). In an authentic hadeeth narrated by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim, the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, when he sent ‘Ali to Khaybar, “By Allah, if Allah guides one man through you, it is better for you than possessing the red camels (the most precious camels).”

If the word Khoda does not have other meanings than 'Allah' in this woman's language, then what she said is Kufr. However, if the word has another meaning, then she cannot be declared a Kaafir (disbeliever) because it is possible that she intended the other meaning. When a Muslim hears someone pronouncing words of Kufr, he has to forbid him and teach him if he is ignorant. The one who spoke words of Kufr must repent to Allah by ceasing to commit it, regretting that he committed it, resolving never to commit it again, and proclaiming the two testimonies of faith (the Shahaadah).

If someone says or does something about which the scholars held different opinions as to whether it renders the person who did it Kaafir or not, then the relevant ruling differs according to the circumstances. If he did what he did based on following the view of a scholar who holds that it is not Kufr, then he is not declared a Kaafir. On the contrary, if he believes that what he did renders the person a Kaafir, then he is declared a Kaafir, unless there is a valid excuse that prevents this.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen – who was one of the scholars who held that the Muslim who totally abandons the obligation of the prayer is declared a Kaafir – said:

“If this Muslim was raised in a country where people do not believe that the Muslim who abandons the prayer is declared a Kaafir and this was the famous scholarly view there, then he is not declared a Kaafir, because he was following the prevalent scholarly view in his country. Likewise, he does not bear a sin for doing a prohibited act that is not considered prohibited by the scholars of his country, because the lay-Muslim is required to follow the views of scholars. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {So ask the people of the message if you do not know.} [Quran 16:43]”

As for forbidding the evil and sinful acts, scholars held different views regarding the manner of applying it. Ibn Rajab wrote, “The evil that is obligatory to forbid is that which scholars agreed about that it is evil. As for the acts about which they held different opinions, some scholars of our school said that it is not an obligation to forbid it if it is done by a Mujtahid (someone possessing the required religious knowledge to produce his own opinion based on reasoning) in the issue, or a follower of a Mujtahid in matters where following is accepted...”

Lastly, we would like to draw your attention to the prohibition of having a relationship with a woman outside of a legitimate marriage; please refer to fatwa 81356.

Allah knows best.