Salams. I have been married 7 years. but my wife quite abusive and even aborted our first baby. We now have a baby boy. she has no patience with kids and has never treated my mother kindly. I have recently fallen in love with my wives brother's wife. and i wish to marry her. and have her in my life in a halal manner. Please advice. jazakallah

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

If the wife of your brother in-law is still in bond of marriage with her husband, then there is no way for you to marry her; that is because there is a legal impediment, which is that she is married, so she is among the women who are forbidden for someone to marry, as Allah Says (what means): {And [also prohibited to you are all] married women.} [Quran 4:24]

With regard to your love for her, then if it is because of you being lenient in looking at her and talking to her and the like, then you are sinful, and you must repent to Allah.

If it is without a reason from you or you did not endeavor to this effect, but it was just a sudden glance on her and then you looked away from her, yet your heart is attached to her, then you do not incur a sin, but you have to fear Allah and repel being attached to her and not respond to its causes, as the matter is very serious.

Perhaps you are well aware that it is neither appropriate in the Sharee’ah, nor custom, nor chivalry of a man to accept for others what you do not accept for yourself in your wife, your sister, and your mother. It is forbidden for you to communicate with her or to have any emotional relationship with her. You should beware of being a reason in spoiling her against her husband, and thus, the threat that is mentioned in the Hadeeth would apply to you.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: “He is not one of us he who spoils a wife against her husband.” [Abu Dawood]

Ibn Hajar Al-Haytami mentioned that spoiling a wife against her husband is among the major sins, and some jurists are of the view that it is forbidden for a man to marry the woman whom he spoiled against her husband.

For more benefit on the prohibition of spoiling the relationship between a wife and her husband, please refer to Fatwa 92056.

As for your wife, if she is as you described that she is very abusive, mistreats your mother, and aborted her fetus, then these are heinous acts. Your role in dealing with that is to strive to advise her in a good manner and wisely, remind her of Allah Almighty, and warn her of the repulsiveness of these acts, Islamically and customarily, and the sins that result from them.

If her condition becomes better, then praise be to Allah. Otherwise, consider the matter of separating from her and do not cause torment to yourself because of her, and look for a pious woman to marry her, and make the appropriate choice.

For more benefit on the ruling on abortion and its consequences, please refer to Fatawa 278191, 276748, 87649, 128586, 87467, 83891, 85558 and 90398.

We draw your attention to the importance of keeping good relationship between in-laws, so the wife should respect her mother in-law and the rest of the family of her husband; the same thing applies to the husband’s mother and his family with the wife; this helps to strengthen the relationship and love between the spouses, so the family would be stable.

The wisdom of the husband is important in improving the relationship between his wife and his family.

Allah Knows best.