Assalamualaikum, One of my friend is about to get married, she and her fiance is connected through WhatsApp and they are trying to know each other. One day her fiance asked her whether she's having an ex and she's Virgin or not? Even he's telling her to swear on Allah and to tell him that she's virgin. Now the problem is if she cannot tell him the truth as Allah have clearly mentioned that we shouldn't tell our sins to anyone and we've to repent and ask forgiveness. But her fiance have told to swear on Allah, keep her hand on Quran and confess about it whether she's virgin or not. Can she take a swear on Allah? It's a big confusion and she's not able to decide. Please clear our confusion. Jazak'allah

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

The suitor is not entitled to ask his fiancée about her past and she is not legislatively obliged to inform him of anything in this regard. In fact, it is impermissible for her to disclose her past sins to him because she is required to repent to Allah from her past sins and conceal them. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said: “All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes the screen of Allah from himself.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

If the suitor stipulates that the bride should be a virgin, she is not entitled to conceal the information of the hymen rupture; rather, she is legislatively obliged to inform him of it and it is impermissible to withhold this information not to mention falsely swearing on it.

If the hymen rupture is due to engagement in adultery, it is impermissible to inform him of it. She should opt for Tawriyyah (indirect speech or deliberate ambiguity, namely, to say something which has more than one meaning and intending a meaning different from what the listener is likely to understand) and say that she had not committed adultery, intending that she did not commit adultery after the repentance. ʻUmar said: “Indirect speech accords great scope in avoiding lies.” [Al-Bukhaari] There are many reasons for the hymen rupture such as (heavy) menstruation, jumping, and riding something with a sharp surface and the like.

Shaykh Ibn ʻUthaymeen said, “The hymen rupture is not indicative of the woman's immorality and depravity. Rather, it may occur due to different reasons other than the sexual intercourse such as (heavy) menses, falling hard, jumping, or the like. This does not mean that I am encouraging the girls to commit immoral acts; rather, I want to eliminate the suspicions that a husband may harbor in such a situation.” [Fataawa ʻala Ad-Darb]

We would like to highlight two points:

First, the suitor is regarded as a non-Mahram man and the fiancée should treat him accordingly until the marriage contract is conducted; he should not talk to her except in case of a need and within the scope of the need only. The laxness in this regard as reflected in the question and discussing such details with her are impermissible.

Shaykh Ibn ʻUthaymeen said: “The fiancée is considered a non-Mahram woman for the fiancé and there should be no difference in the way he interacts with her had not she been his fiancée until the marriage contract is conducted ...” [Fataawa ʻala Ad-Darb]

Second, if the suitor stipulates that the bride must be a virgin and he was not informed of the hymen rupture and he found out after the marriage that she was not a virgin, he is given the choice to annul the marriage or retain the marriage bond. Kashshaaf Al-Qinaaʻ reads, “If he stipulates that the woman must be a virgin and found out after the marriage that she was not, he is given the choice to annul the marriage or retain the marriage bond.”

Allah knows best.