As Salam alaikum, I would like to ask about a marriage topic. I would like to know if a couple are married and for some reason the lady wants a divorce so her husband leaves her for 2 years. The husband does not spend money on her at all. So, is she considered divorced? I know that now-a- days a lady is not legally divorced unless she receives a divorce paper from court. But between this person and Allah what is the relationship between them now. The lady refuses to go back to her husband and her husband does not want to divorce her. What should be done in this case? Thank you for your time and if you need any addition information I will be glad to supply you with all the information you need. Wasalam alaykum

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and Blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Indeed the relationship between a husband and wife is a relation of love, affection and kindness, it is based on mutual respect. Almighty Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): {And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect}.[30:21] Whenever a quarrel or disagreement occurs between them, they should solve it with wisdom and good manner. They should remember each other’s advantages and good things. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): {If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good}. [4:19] The husband, in whose hands is the marriage tie, must be nice to his wife. He must deal with her as he wishes her to deal with him. If the disagreement continues, he has only two choices. To keep her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness. He has no right to leave her hanging i.e. neither has she a husband nor is she divorced. This is clearly injustice. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): {Either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness}. [2:229] Allah also says (Interpretation of meaning): {Either keep them on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis}. If the wife asked for divorce and went to her family house, and her husband did not divorce her, she would not be divorced. It is not provided that the divorce should be in a court but whenever the husband utters the divorce or writes it on a paper and sends to her, then the divorce takes place. If the husband does not agree to divorce her while she insists to be free, she might ask for Khul'a i.e. giving up all her rights or some of them to nullify her marriage and to be free from wedlock. Allah knows best.