I am married to my cousin for the last 8 years. While we were engaged (before nikah) we used to engage in some sextual acts, like kissing, kissing her breasts, once she masturbated me with her hands, but we never had an intercourse. So, I want to know the opinion of all school of thoughts about the validity of our marriage. I am confused after I read the tafsir for the Ayat in surah al-Noor. 1) Are our acts equivalent to Zina, making the Ayah of surah al-Noor applicable? 2) Is our marriage valid? 3) Is marriage between a man and a woman who had an intercourse with each other before marriage permissible? Please give me specific answers. Do we need to remarry again after making repentence? We are very much repentant for our acts. But I want to know if we have to marry again? Were we in sin during all these 8 years? Please answer my questions as soon as possible. I am very much disturbed.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to enable you to fulfill His Orders. We would like to also thank you for reading the explanation of the verses of the Quran and for pondering over its meaning, not to mention your consciousness of the fact that these verses are addressed to you and to all mankind. Finally, we ask Allah the Oft-Forgiving to accept your repentance and to help you stick to the truth.

You should know that it is forbidden for a man to enjoy a woman except after getting married to her in a legal way. As a rule, she is a non-Mahram woman to him and it is prohibited for him to get any kind of pleasure from her, be that before getting engaged or after it. Getting engaged to her does not mean any thing as far as your relation to that woman is concerned; it is nothing but a promise that you have chosen this woman to become your wife in the future. As a result, any deeds that you undertook with this woman after getting engaged to her and before getting married to her are considered as minor Zina (fornication or adultery) acts. We ask Allah to forgive us and you.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet the Prophet said: “The child of Adam has to have his share of Zina (adultery or fornication) no matter how well he/she endeavours to avoid it. The Zina of the eyes is by gazing, the Zina of the ears is by listening, the Zina of the tongue is by talking, the Zina of the hands is by touching, the Zina of the foot is by walking [to forbidden places], and the heart desires and wishes. Then, the private parts either submit to this or deny it.” [Muslim]

As regards your marriage, it is valid and you do not have to conduct the marriage contract again. Moreover, a man who commits Zina (fornication or adultery) with a woman is allowed to get married to her provided that he waits until she has one menstruation period and purifies herself, because the semen of Zina should not get mixed with the semen of legal marriage. After that, he can marry her. However, both of them should repent to Allah.

Allah knows best.