Confused about wanting to marry boy she once saw kissing another girl Fatwa No: 83108
- Fatwa Date:24-7-2001
My problem seems to be more social than religious I know a boy and every body says that he loves me and from my side I can say that I like him, but the problem is that he knows a girl and he says that he doesn't love her and she is like a friend but I saw him once kissing her but I didn't tell him so not to make him feel shy of me (and I'm sure he hasn't any sexual life with her), and his best friend told me he is good guy and from good family, and I know after the holiday he will come to ask me to marry him and I don't know if I will accept or not. From my side I like him but I feel sorry because he is going with this girl and I feel shy from my friend to be small in front of her and I'm afraid of GOD to say no to a person who seems to be good in our days. It's a matter of pride and feeling, and I don't know to follow my heart which likes him or after my mind which refuses to marry any body who knows any girl before me because I like to be the first and the last in my husband's life. So I hope you can help me.
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
We perceive that you should collect more information about this guy concerning his piety. Does he perform all of his religious obligations, especially the prayers on regular basis or not? Does he avoid committing Haram or not, etc? What his friend said about him is not enoughto evaluate him properly and assess his behaviour.
Anyway, his relations with a girl whether he loves her or not, defames his attitude and raises some doubts about his true adherence to Sharia. Furthermore, you have confirmed that he has had relations with a girl and you have seen him kissing her, this fact alone proves that he is not as pious as a Muslim should be. If you have evidence that he has made sincere repentance and that he no longer has relations with alien girls, then you may accept his proposal. Before accepting it, you should make Istikhara. How to perform Istikhara, see the Fatwas Nos. 81434 and 81992. We ask Allah to guide you to the right path and grant you a nice pious husband.
Allah knows best.