I don't know where to seek help because I fear being misunderstood or to bring shame on me and my family. I'm a European Muslimah (of a mixed family, but raised with Islamic values) and try to avoid everything Haram or sinful. I got to know a pious man (married though for 10 years, having a daughter of 3) who proposed to me. In his marriage there he doesn't get what a man's right is, but respects his wife and doesn't want to divorce because of the daughter. His wife is a converted Muslim but she is not believing; she converted for her husband. What links us is the belief in God and the holy Qur'an. We talk for hours and I admire him because of his knowledge. So far we do not meet alone, we are always in company, but we feel deep love for each other. As a Muslim he has the right to marry again even without the consent of his wife -- she doesn't want it. She threatens him to leave with his daughter if he does marry me. He presented me to all his family, they like and accept me and want him to be happy. Now he wants to marry me as soon as possible even if his wife doesn't agree because he fears that he will get weak one day and we both don't want to sin. Is this ok? I'm so confused, I love him so deeply, but I don't want to do any bad. Please give me an advice.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

If this man is good and if he is pious as you mentioned, then there is no harm in marrying him regardless of whether or not his first wife agrees. But we advise this man, in order to convince his first wife and take care of his daughter, to explain to her the reasons for his second marriage as to prevent her also from apostasy.

We would like here to point out that no woman should stay alone with a non-Mahram man no matter how much they trust each other. In fact, seclusion is a big reason for temptation which, in turn, could lead to major sins.

So, we advise this sister to stay away from this man as long as they have not married. She should not talk to him or have any other contact with him except in the strict necessity regarding their marriage.

Allah knows best.