I got engaged with a girl 4 months ago without seeing the girl. Now I have her photograph but I did not like her (looks). I don't feel like marrying her. I don't want to deceive her but I will not be able to live with her for life. I am in a mess. Can you please give me suggestion as what should I do in such a situation?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Marriage is a legislation of Allah for his creatures; Allah honored mankind through it and gave them a suitable system to regulate the relations between a man and a woman. He made the mutual consent and acceptance of a man and a woman the basis for this relationship. Everyone is allowed to choose freely his/her match, though there are standards set by the Sharee'ah to be considered when choosing one's life partner. The Prophet said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Likewise, the Sharee'ah instructed a man and a woman to have a glance at each other before proposing since it is a great reason to strengthen the love between them and this also helps them to know each other thoroughly before he decides to make her his wife partner. A wise man does not take any step unless he knows the benefits and harms.

Some righteous predecessors said: “Every marriage that is established without the spouses having a look at each other will result in grief and sorrow.”

Therefore, the Sharee'ah urges us to have a look at each other before marriage. The Prophet said: “When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, then he should do so. Jaabir, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.” [Abu Daawood]

Therefore, we advise our brother to follow the Sunnah and he should not take any step before looking at her fiancée.

Know that a picture does not reveal the truth, especially if you have chosen this girl for her religion or for other reasons.

In brief, you should wait till you look at your fiancée; after that if you like her it is better; otherwise, you can leave her based on clear knowledge.

Allah knows best.