I'm a housewife, my husband refuses to help me with any housework including changing baby nappy! Is it compelling on me to do all the work on my own or just a favour 'Ihsan' for him?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The basis of conjugal life is mutual understanding and co-operation with each other. Being wise and reasonable is compulsory in order to solve the disputes that may arise from time to time as to avoid ruining the family life and destroying the children's future.

Our advice to all men is to follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad the leader and the head of all human beings who used to patch his sandals, sew his garment and conduct himself at home as any man does in his house (Ahmad, Imam Al-‘Iraqi said the narrators of the chain of this Hadeeth are among the narrators of Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

Helping the wife in the housework is considered among the noble manners. At the same time a woman should take into consideration that her husband also struggles the whole day to provide food for his family. Generally, he comes back to his house tired and exhausted from his daylong work. Fatimah the daughter of the Prophet  Muhammad came to the Prophet complaining of what she suffered from the hand mill and from grinding, when she got the news that some slave girls of the booty had been brought to Allah's Apostle. She went to him to ask for a maid-servant, but she could not find him, and told ‘Aa’ishah of her need. When the Prophet came, ‘Aa’ishah informed him of that. The Prophet came to our house when we had gone to our beds. (On seeing the Prophet) we were going to get up, but he said, Keep at your places,' I felt the coolness of the Prophet's feet on my chest. Then he said, “Shall I tell you a thing which is better than what you asked me for? When you go to your beds, say: ‘Allahu Akbar (i.e. Allah is the Greater)' 34 times, and 'Al-Hamdu Lillah (i.e. All Praises are due to Allah)' 33 times, and Subhan Allah (i.e. Glorified be Allah) 33 times. This is better for you than what you have requested.” ‘Ali said, I never failed to recite it ever since. He was asked, “even on the night of the battle of Siffin”? He said, “No, even on the night of the battle of Siffin”.

It is reported from Asma’ (the wife of Zubair) through an authentic source that she said: ‘I used to serve Zubair and carry out all the housework. I used to feed his horse with fodder and drew water and sow the bucket for drawing it, and prepare the dough'. It is also reported from her that she used to carry the date stones on her head from the land of al-Zubair and it was at a distance of two third of a Farsakh (a measure of distance) from her house. The Muslim jurists have different opinions concerning the work of a woman in her house.

The Majority of Muslim scholars are of the opinion that serving one's husband is not compulsory, rather it is only among the noble manners. Imam Malik, Al-Shaafi'e and Abu Haneefa also support this view. The Family of Az-Zubayr furthermore cited that marriage contract enables a husband to enjoy his wife; it does not enable him to engage her in housework. They say that the above Hadeeth describe only the high moral standards, as reported by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim.

Imam Abu Thour said: It is compulsory on a wife to serve her husband in every matter.

Allah knows best.