Fatwa

  1. Fatwa
  2. Women and Family
  3. First Steps to Marriage
  4. Choosing a spouse

Hesitating to marry a girl who is not pretty
Fatwa No: 87465

Question

My question is to do about the prayer of for guidance (Istikharah).I thought of proposing for a girl and I performed the prayer of Istikharah after the Fajr prayer. I slept and had a dream which greatly impressed me. After a while I lost interest in the girl primarily because she is not pretty. This started to become a problem to me. She loves me and is awaiting the time I can go to her. I have been thinking of this but it is difficult!I feel very sad because I feel that I am going against the will of God. I have been advised that it is not Haram to marry her and that I am better able to decide this matter. I feel very sad about my feelings towards her and the way she feels about me at the same time. Compared with other girls, I have no objection to her manners. I feel that my honor is attached to her and that I am denying that honor. Can this be true?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

 

We ask Allah, The Almighty, Lord of The Great Throne, to improve your matters, ease your problems and give you what is beneficial.

It is Sunnah to make Istikharah and seek advice of eligible people.    There is a proverb that the one who makes Istikharah does not miss the mark and the one who takes advice does not regret later on.

You made Istikharah; thereafter you had a dream that encouraged you on doing the task.  Now, you have to take the advice of religious and reliable persons who know your matters and can give proper advice.

However, our advice is to marry the girl if she is religious and of noble character.  Don’t bother about her beauty since the original beauty is the beauty of character, not of body.  Many good-looking women make the lives of their husbands miserable while many less beautiful women provide a happy and successful life for their husbands.

However, do not forget that mixing with the opposite sex in the work place or anywhere else is very dangerous.

For more details, please read the Fatwa: 82395 and 83953.

 

Allah knows best.

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