Wants peace of mind and heart
Fatwa No: 88269

Question

How can I get a peace of mind? How can I increase my Sabr? I pray every day to God that he will give me peace in my mind and in my heart. I feel every day depressed, restless, worrying about the future (even though knowing that the future lies in God's hands). I am 26 and not married, living in this difficult Christian country, feeling alone. I pray every day to God to help me, but I don't feel any answer from Him? Normally when I pray I feel relief in my heart and now I do not! How come? What should I do? I make Dua every day after prayer and 'Istikharah' but no answer. I still feel the same. Maybe I am doing something wrong. A couple of years ago if felt much stronger within, but now I am much weaker. I can not explain it. It's like there is a thick wall between me and...
Please give me advice.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

The best thing to do to obtain peace of heart and mind, happiness and tranquility is by the remembrance of Allah. Allah says: "Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah - Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (Ra'd 13:28)

On the contrary, if one does not remember Allah, then there will be no peace, tranquility or happiness of the heart. Allah says: "But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur'an nor acts on its orders, etc.) verily, for him is a life of hardship" (Ta-Ha 20:124)

We advise you, dear sister, to remember Allah as much as possible, with your tongue, heart and limbs.

Remember Allah with the tongue by making Tasbeeh, seeking forgiveness, reading Qur'an and saying the Adhkar of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) in all circumstances.

Remember Him with the heart by confessing and  acknowledging the Blessings of Allah on you and be happy with what Allah predestined for you, and ponder about the Creator of the heavens and the earth.

Remember Him with the limbs by performing good deeds, like prayers, Hajj, and other physical actions.

We also advise you to keep away from sins and acts of disobedience, as these have a bad effect on the tranquility and peace of heart and mind.

You have to continue making Dua and not to despair if you do not notice that your supplication is answered. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The supplication of one of you is answered as long as he/she does not say 'I supplicated but my supplication was not answered.' (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim and others.)

In another narration (reported by Al-Thirmidhi and Muslim) the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The supplication of a person is answered as long as he/she does not supplicate for a sin, or for cutting relations with kinship, and as long as he/she does not hasten for the answer. They said: "O Prophet of Allah, what is meant by hasten? He replied: "It is to say I said a supplication and it was not answered, and he/she becomes despaired and gives up supplicating."

So, dear sister, you have to supplicate, for supplication is one of the greatest weapons of the Muslims.

In order to strengthen one's Iman and get peace of heart, one should also seek good company who will guide him to righteousness, and attend circles of knowledge, as these are attended by angels. You have to think good of Allah that He will answer your call and bless you with a pious husband.

Allah answers the person according to his assumption about Him. Allah says in a Sacred Hadith: "I am with the person according to his assumption of Me; let him assume of Me what he/she wants." (Reported by Al-Hakim and Tabrani with an authentic chain of narrators.)

Finally, we ask Allah to grant you peace of heart and to relieve you from hardship and distress.

Allah knows best.

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