I am a divorced muslim mother of 3 daughters. We moved to the uk in 2002. Alhumdulillah while the girls were younger everything was ok. My eldest daughter is married happily. My second daughter married when she was young (16) and is since divorced with a young child. We all live together and this worked out well until recently. The youngest child is very much influenced by her older sister. Nothing i say or do affects them. They dont listen to anything i say. I work full time in order to provide for them. Recently i cannot tolerate the rudeness and disrespect both these children show to me. I want to go back to my home country but the youngest child does not want to go back. what can i do?? What is the islamic injunction on divorced daughters who return to their parents but believe they can do whatever they want. My daughter says that i have an obligation to take of her - does she not have an obligation to follow the rules of our religion and the home. My eldest daughter does not want to get involved in any of this - so that is not much help. THE CHILDREN GET ALONG WELL AND WANT TO LIVE IN THE UK. I AM THE STUMBLING BLOCK - I AM ALSO THE PROVIDER - AND I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN THE UNITED KINGDOM. Do I have to live here and provide for them even if they are disobedient, rude and unkind to me?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Your two daughters should know the high status and great right which Allaah gave to the mother upon her children who are religiously required to be kind and dutiful to her. Therefore, the bad treatment of your two daughters is considered as cutting ties with kinship and it is a great sin. For more benefit on the status of the parents and the seriousness of cutting ties with them, please refer to Fataawa 85041 and 84942.

Moreover, we have clarified many times that divorce has its negative effects on the children. It seems that your husband divorcing you and you being preoccupied by endeavoring to earn your living are the reason why your two daughters missed the good nurturing and the proper guidance. Indeed, this matter should be concerned with, as one would only reap what he sows.

On the other hand, according to the agreement of the jurists, the father is obligated to spend on his children who are young and who do not have money to spend on themselves. Similarly, the father is obligated to spend on his adult child who is poor according to the opinion of some scholars. In case the father dies, or that he refuses to spend on them, or that he is unable to spend on them, then it is the mother who is obligated to spend on them according to the most preponderant opinion (of the scholars).

However, she has the right to ask her husband [the father of the children] to reimburse her if she spent on the children with the intention of asking him to reimburse her. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 130099.

Hence, we advise you to do the following: :

1- Advising the two daughters in a soft and gentle manner and reminding them of what the Sharee’ah orders them to do towards their parents, and of the importance of having good conduct with people in general and with their parents in particular, and you should warn them about being disobedient to one’s parents.

2- Endeavoring to marry off these two daughters, we mean the divorced one and the one who is younger than her if she has reached the age of marriage.

3- If you want to take them to your original country, then you should try every trick to achieve this objective and to gradually get them to achieve it. No doubt, residing in a non-Muslim country has many disadvantages on the children and it is the cause of them being disobedient to their parents due to the laws that help in this regard and that undermine the authority of the parents on their children. For more benefit on the ruling of residing in a non-Muslim country, please refer to Fatwa 86405.

Allaah Knows best.