He is depressed because of his family's disrespect toward him Fatwa No: 195045
- Fatwa Date:8-1-2013
Dear Assalamualiakum, I am undergoing mental intense Depression infrequently but it lasts more and has effected me. I have put question in the past also and it is due to my disrespect in my own home among my other family members. I am living in combined family system which is probably against islamic teachings. The social problems in my home has made me blood pressure patient and my ability to grow in my career has diminished. I have become the victim from my own parents, my own brothers and own sister except my wife wheo always helped me to be calm and positive in all conditions. I cannot share my feelings with anyone as i am disrespected and hurted on the support of my own parents. I am one of the financial responsible for my own home and spending for family of what Allah has granted me. I might be in Azmesh .help me until i loose my abilities and become worse for my parents and wife.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that this life is a test, and the best thing which a Muslim might have at times of affliction is patience. Indeed, patience has many praiseworthy consequences in this worldly life and in the Hereafter. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83577. Here we should also mention forgiving and pardoning which have great virtues as discussed in Fatwa 84351.
The common practice of relatives is that they are friendly and affectionate to each other because of the blood relationship which Allaah has made among them. Also, the parents are in general affectionate to their children and endeavor to ensure their comfort and well-being.
However, it is strange that a relative harms you and is unjust to you and hence you should take a stance against it:
1- You should supplicate Allaah to rectify the matter.
2- You should repent and seek forgiveness as much as possible.
3- You should look at the shortcomings and negligence that you might have committed against your family, or matters which they might have misunderstood and then try to solve each one separately and accordingly.
4- You should seek the help of rational relatives and righteous people to help you rectify the matter hoping that Allaah will facilitate this.
If this is achieved, praise be to Allaah, otherwise you should look for a way to stay away from your family as the earth of Allaah is vast. So, you should live in another neighborhood far from them or in another town. This might help in keeping affectionate, friendly and kind relationships between you and your family.
Finally, we would like to draw your attention to the two following matters:
1- A Muslim should be firm with a strong personality, so he should not despise himself and make it appear weak and desperate. Rather, he should be firm so that he would be respected and esteemed.
2- One should be kind and dutiful to the parents at all times and avoid mistreating them even if they are negligent towards their child.
Allaah Knows best.