As salamu alaikom. i do FEAR so much from marriage (bcz of my divorced parents, imtihans we gave so hard with my alcoholic father.. and some bad couples -even islamic ones- around..all got huge area in my memory since my childhood. i was even dreaming to get my job then living single and with educating an orphan girl with me!) i am student. but not able to go for last 3 terms bcz of my ill (osteomalacia, vit d, broken footankle,not able to walk almost for 1.5 years.. crutches etc. !) Before and in my ill times too, i was/am trying to help nonmuslims and others -who has interest on islam- via some online platforms (with group usually. no dawa with males!) .(even if i dont have my active life as before, but even from my ill bed, trying to do sth khair around ppl and online). people around me knows my strict rules are same in net either. But past year,i did help/guide a brother from egypt -who visited Turkey- (with a group chat, to not be shaitan our the 3rd) he did join orphan projects here. He made friends from my school. can say, i didnt talk with him for months after his last visit. and now he is asking for probability of Marriage with me!!! we do have same interests, close ages( 33-26), and same life styles and ideals to build more islamic life. but i said : "im sorry.i can't!" while even at job interviews,they asks referances , what about marriage?!? (and i already couldnt find a common person yet to digg what kindof person he is. we did questioned much him in groupchat but it doesnt make any sense like listening him from a common person/referance ). Even if he knows my orthopedic ill (it may look temporarily but nothing guarantied), he says "zatud-deen" issue to chose a wife and so intend to marry . At the end of Ramadan, he will visit my country with his family!! Asking if possible meeting with families. what shall i do?!? is it possible to build an healthy islamic famiky in sych situations?? jazakomAllah khairan jamiian..

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to heal you of every disease, and bless you to be sound in the worldly life and the Hereafter. We also ask Allaah to reward you for your desire to do go good deeds, and we ask Him to bless you with a good husband that will make you happy.

We advise you to discard such feelings of despair and replace them with hope. You should know that all matters are in the Hands of Allaah, so you should turn to Him in all your affairs. Allaah says (what means): {And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.}[Quran 40:60]

On the other hand, you should have good thoughts about your Lord. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said that Allaah says in a Qudsi (Sacred) Hadeeth: “I am just as what My slave thinks of Me.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Another narration reads: “…so let him think of me whatever he wishes.” The meaning of having good thoughts or a good opinion about Allaah is to believe that Allaah will have mercy on the person and He will forgive him as explained by Imaam An-Nawawi in his commentary on Saheeh Muslim.

You should not pay any attention to any bad thoughts that the devil or the evil-enjoining self casts into your heart. Even though there are some examples of bad husbands, there are also many examples of good husbands who live happily. If someone left what was to one's interest because of potential disadvantages one might encounter, then everyone would leave what was to their interests. What is important is that a Muslim pursues the permissible means and then entrusts his affairs with Allaah. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: “…(but) strive to achieve that which gives you benefit and seek help from Allaah and do not despair.” [Muslim]

If anyone, whether that young man or anyone else, proposes to you, you should not hasten to accept the proposal before asking trustworthy people who know him. If they say good things about him and recommend him to you, then it is good to accept his marriage proposal. You may perform Istikhaarah prayer, as by doing so, you are entrusting your affairs to Allaah and He will choose for you what is best.

The disease that you have is not an impediment for you to get married. For more information, please refer to Fataawa 84221 and 90797.

In conclusion, we advise you to supplicate for your parents, especially your father - that Allaah allows him to repent and guides him to the straight path, as Allaah is able to do all things and everything is easy for Him.

You should also advise him in a gentle and lenient manner even indirectly, or via some righteous people whom you think he will listen to.

Allaah Knows best.