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Has a Strong Sexual Desire and Wants to Get Married

Question

I hope you will be able to help me, I am only 19 year old college female but I have a strong desire to get married. Part of the reason is to keep myself from falling into sin and I have persistent sexual thoughts. I really desire to have a man love me and take care of me. What can I do in the mean time while waiting to protect my imaan and my heart? I sometimes feel saddnend that I dont have a halal partner to free myself with these desires and it affects my iman.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to make things easy for you, and to spare you from immorality (illicit sexual intercourse) and temptation in your religion and your worldly matters.

We also ask Allah to bless you with a righteous husband with whom you will be happy, and bless you with children from him, who will be a comfort to the eyes for you and your husband in this worldly life and in the Hereafter.

The most important thing that we recommend you to do is to supplicate Allah. Supplication is one of the greatest means by which a Muslim can achieve his desire. Allah is Most Gracious; He ordered us to supplicate Him and He promised us to answer our supplication. Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60]

Marriage is one of the good things that one should hasten to achieve, as there is much goodness in it, in this life and the hereafter. Allah Says (what means): {So race to [all that is] good.} [Quran 2:148]

The scholars stated that whoever fears temptation is obliged to get married. So, you should endeavor to get married.

It is Islamically permissible for a woman to search for a husband, and she is allowed to propose herself to whomever she wishes to get married to. However, she must observe the Islamic conditions while doing so and avoid anything that may lead to temptation. In this regard, you may seek the help of your Muslim sisters, Islamic Centers, and other institutions.

If marriage is facilitated, then praise be to Allah, otherwise, you should observe everything that would leads to preserving your chastity, among which is fasting. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "O young people! Whoever can marry should marry, as it helps one to lower their gaze, and guards the private parts, and whoever is not able to marry should fast, as this helps one protect his private parts (from committing illegal sexual intercourse)." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

You should also be keen on keeping company with righteous Muslim women, fill your free time with what benefits you, and avoid places of mixing (between men and women) and places of temptation.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 87295, 165831, and 84026.

Allah knows best.

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